YES

Oh, man. Larkin's back. I feel so much better now. Seeing her was the most wonderful thing that's happened in a week. Well, obviously. But you know what I mean. It just felt good to actually be able to be close to her. I hate telephones.

So yeah, I was doing some nostalgic thing earlier. I'm in the mood to write about it now, because, well, I'm in the mood to do anything that involves positive shit. So I was looking through my archives- mostly the early ones. I'm not a self-aware person, an paradoxially enough, I know that I'm not. It troubles me sometimes, actually, to not really know my true qualities. I rely on friends and other sources to get a general idea of who I am. My blog's a great thing to read, especially entries six months ago or so, since this is one of the places I put my real emotions into. That and choir, but I can't very well record myself singing while I'm in the midst of 106 others.

I think I've come up with a general idea of some of my characteristics- finally. Most of these are probably pretty obvious to everyone- but I find it much harder to see myself. Yeah. I'm just weird that way.

1. I tend to be a sarcastic, cynical bastard- at least when dealing with things I hate.
2. When talking about ailments or shit that bothers me, I exaggerate. Maybe I'm a slight hypochondriac.
3. I swear a lot. No shit, right?
4. Whenever I find someone that I take a romantic interest in, I almost never feel a simple slight liking for that person. I thrive on constant, intense affection, and therefore, I'm either indifferent to a girl, or I love her with all my heart.
5. Also regarding my love life, I tend to like taking care of someone. I guess I just sort of have this instinct to protect a lover, shield her from anything disheartening. Who wouldn't?
6. I make a shitload of empty threats. So don't make me shove a red hot sewing needle in your eye.
7. As says #1, I'm only cynical with things I hate. When dealing with something I love, I tend to be pretty compassionate. I guess I'm sort of two sided- which means, when I'm in love, my cynicism turns into the submissive side of me, and I become vulnerable to the real bastards like Rob and Todd, who like taking advantage of that. Heh. I guess I deserve it.
8. I like knives.
9. Whenever I accomplish something, I'm obsessed by this, and get a sort of feeling that I'm instantly a master at whatever skill I used. Like, with my story. I wrote that first part, and most people thought it was cool, so I got a bit cocky, didn't really think about it anymore, and wrote a shitty second chapter. I need to watch out for that...
10. I do not like authority, but I'm good at looking presentable. Most adults like me because I'm able to put on this mask of a polite, tolerable personality. In other words, the inner me wants to cut my math teacher's head off, but the exterior me just says "Mrs.Sampogna, I'm pretty sure I turned that worksheet in." Or some shit like that.

I can't come up with anything else right now. But now that I've read my blog, and been in a nice lasting relationship with someone, I think I know myself a lot better than before. I am content now.