Despair. Matched by few other torments, a hollowness, an emptiness coarses through my being. I feel the need to run to my love's house, climb up into a window with my fingernails, and spend just one night asleep in familiar arms. Little comfort does the cold steel of this digital typewriter offer me. My only companions now are tired, old mp3s and distant communication through underground cables. I am alone in this dark cavern of old Dr.Pepper cans and unfolded, wrinkled clothing. The cat nudges my legs, looking for affection, but all I have is given to another. I can't sleep. Especially not now. I'm not tired, only restless. Is it so wrong to be so addicted to her company? No. Nothing is more right. Why aren't we old enough to live together? We're mature enough, and we never fight! Alas, once again I think of the future. Oh well. A mere mosquito, occasionally inserting its plague-ridden proboscis into my joyful world.

On a much less disparaging note, I had a wonderful time with Larkin today. Our first stop was the Hot Topic at the Woodlands mall. For the price of one bottle of Blue-Haired Freak dye, we obtained, on sale, four bottles of Blue Velvet to later apply to my hair. It had faded back to blonde! Unacceptable. Especially since we're still in the midst of summer, and there are no administrators to bitch at me. Returning to my home for application, we made my hair a wonderful shade of indigo. Potent shit, that dye! Amazing! After thorough rinsing and scrubbing, my ears, neck, chest and back still remain a shade of blue! Unless I want to use rubbing alcohol anytime soon, I suppose I shall simply have to wait until that layer of skin sheds. But the hair, the hair! It looks spectacular. I am so satisfied with it, and thank Larkin INFINITELY for the killer application, and purchase of dye.

After a nice pasta dinner, we stopped by Larkin's to pick up a bottle of Vidal Sassoon spray-on stuff that will help keep the blue in my hair before going for a walk in the woods. It seems we walked in on a bit of an emotional moment between Ari, Liz, and Larkin's dad. How unpleasant. Luckily, it was just wrapping up, and dad left, carrying Liz and the discomfoting aura with him. Ari sobbed when discovering my hair's color! I hope it's not that bad... I thank Larkin's mom, however, for assisting in the removal of some of the dye from my ears and neck. I looked very oxygen-starved.

I love walking in the backwoods by Terranova West with Larkin. We have a wonderful time exploring everything, and this time, it was pitch black by the time we decided to turn back towards the van's parking spot. It was great fun walking around in the dark, nearly losing the path several times, startled by every sound in the woods. Spooky, and shit. But despite fear of being attacked by coyotes, we made it back to our vehicle safely, and went off to Starbucks. It was nice to see Stan there, and with some new red hair to boot. He seems to be doing much better- at least he has somewhere to live now. Things are looking up.

Coming back to my house, Larkin and I sat around and spoke of different things, ranging from legalized dueling to the knife shop in the mall to modern Satanism. How intellectually fulfilling she is! I couldn't be happier with anyone else. But she had to leave far too early. I miss her tonight to the point of depression. I don't know what it is. I'm addicted to her company like a crackwhore.