Carwash Cuisine

Today, Larkin and I stopped at the local self-serve carwash to, well, wash the van. I gladly helped of course- I ride in that thing all the time, so I should at least help clean it up- but Larkin was nice enough to treat me to ice cream afterwards. By the time we'd finished eating, it was time to go home and bring Larkin into a rare event: that of fashioning a homemade pizza with my dear ol' dad. Fun stuff, that. Cuttin up stuff, squishin all the spinach juice out of spinach, lookin all impressive in front of Larkin, cuttin up stuff, sharpening knives, and cuttin up stuff. And we make a kickass pizza.

I feel weird. It's a great feeling. Almost disbelief that Larkin and I are still, well, together. Not because of any of our qualities, just because of my past relationships. It's hard to believe that we're more in love than ever after more than four months, which doesn't seem like a long time, and yet, it does. It's really cool. Oh, that's right. The future.

Larkin wrote about her concerns for our relationship in the future, and it's something I'd like to touch on as well. The future creeps on us. It's extending little, slimey green tendrils into my mind and injecting me with fear of losing Larkin. It seems silly, doesn't it? We've still got another school year before she'll be going off to college- but with all the trips she's taking, and the applications she'll be sending off in the fall, it's on our minds a lot these days. It's a lot to think about. What does the future hold in store for us? Right now, locked in this present bliss, how can I possibly imagine an entire senior year without that beautiful creature at my side? More than that! Will our greater paths eventually seperate us? It seems the fate for all teenage lovers, and looking at others, though not ourselves, it almost seems futile- that the real world will someday tear so many couples apart. But Christ, I don't know. And I don't know why it haunts me so. I know I'll always be Larkin's friend. But as I said before- I'm in love with her now. Deeply. It saturates my every cell. How can I say I'll be happy if we leave each other to become pen pals, looking into the future from a biased perspective?

Ah, hell. I try to live in the present, but it's not like it's impossible to be together with anyone after high school. I say, let's go to Washington University, ride bicycles around the campus, and buy bagels! We'll conquer the world! Oh, and buy a helicopter. And a black Harley. And then move to Tokyo.