Ah, what, you might ask, is the title of today's post referring to? You might have guessed me, and you might have guessed Larkin, since she also possesses a troublesome nature. You were right. Today we took a step forward- a step forward for science! That's right, we performed a social experiment in her subdivision. Let me explain.
It's a simple idea. We start out with a penny. We run up to some honest, hardworking, flag-waving American's household, and ask whoever answers the door to give us an object- any object, as long as it's not really disgusting or somebody's schizophrenia medication, that they think is worth one cent- in exchange for the penny. We then take our new treasure to a different house, and exchange it for something worth the first object. We keep going until we, um, get a couch. Or something.
Ok, so maybe it's not quite as glorious as I made it sound. But it was fun. First we got a rubber band. We thought that sucked, so we tried a shiny quarter at another house, and got some really fucking weird Finding Nemo toy. It made this noise when you pushed a button- and I cannot describe it any better that with the words "octopus orgasm".
A few glaring mothers who refused to open their doors later, we exchanged the annoying toy to a man for a canister of Play-Dough! Ah, how it brought back memories of my youth. I used to make pancakes out of that shit, and feed them to my friend Bill. I'm serious. Bill wasn't smart.
So we took that Play-Dough, and, Play-Dough in hand, we, um, found a kitten. So we played with the kitten for awhile. She was cute. I named her Sebastiene! Yeah. We rang another doorbell shortly after playtime, and who answered the door but a half-naked, hairy-chested, ex-sociology teacher! I think I shuddered several times. After asking us what this was for several times, and hearing our little white lie that this was a science fair project and that we'd give him a copy of the paper, he took our Play-Dough and gave us a baseball. Then the mosquitoes were eating Larkin, so we just kinda ran back to her place and hung out there for the remainder of the evening.
I've got to change my sleeping habits. I'm slowly becoming nocturnal by going to bed a little later every night- I think I'm down to about 3:30 AM now. I generally wake up at lunchtime, and so, of course, I'm pretty energetic until very early the next morning again. It's sort of a disadvantage when Larkin's falling asleep near midnight. I really hope I don't bug her too much by being so full of energy. Ah well. At least she can sleep in now that she's got less HLA to deal with. Just as long as she doesn't fall asleep at the wheel and kill Sebastiene, I'll keep hangin out with her until as late as possible.
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