Monday, February 23, 2004

Some thing to pass the time:

1. Name: John Gray Heidelmeier
2. Nickname(s): Johann, Johannes, Matrix Dude, antichrist, I think someone called me Jesus once too, don't know how that works
3. Screen name: JohnH778
4. Grade: Junior
6. Sex: Male
7. Birthday: August 23, 1987
8. Zodiac sign: Virgo
9. Hospital where you were born: I really don't know, or care
10. Height: 5" 11' ?
11. All your toes and fingers: Yeah, fortunately. I had a close run-in with a lawnmower once, but I'm okay
12. Hair Color: blonde
13. Eye Color: blue

Gimme some Lovin'

16. Crush: teh LARKIN
17: Girlfriend?: She sure is
18. If you could go out with anyone in the world, who would it be?: The pope. I'd take him to the movies with my friends and cuddle with him, and have him bless everyone's snacks.
19. When and who was your 1st crush?: Hell, I don't remember. I've had about a thousand, because I used to be awful lonely
20. What do you first notice about the opposite sex?: face
21. Your idea of a perfect date: a sushi bar where the Japanese guys are right in front of you making the sushi with MACHETES
23. Biggest turn-on: short, dark hair
24. Ideal girl: anyone who can successfully digest Edgar Allan Poe's works without a dictionary

A peek into my Future

26. Occupation: Master Chef
27. Dream Car: my baby (silver bug)
28. Marriage: k, tax benefits
29. Kids: they go wonderful with a little curry powder
30. Future son's name: Mr.Whiskers
31. Future daughter's name: Kitty-kit-kit
32. Honeymoon: New Zealand
33. Where will you live?: in a HUGE city, like New York or London or Tokyo or Berlin
34. What are you doing tomorrow?: I will be bullshitting my way through four hours of standardized testing, or, shall I say, 30 minutes of standardized testing followed by three and a half hours of novel-reading

Mah Favorites

35. Food: sushi. a close second is greek food. I love that mediterranean shit.
36. Drink: Dr.Skipper!
37. TV show: The International News Channel
38. Movie: American Beauty
39. CD: Sheryl Crow. Fuck you, Sterling~
40. Color: the color of Larkin's head
41. Actor: Al Pacino, goddamnit
42. Actress:
43. Weekend Activity: Larkin
44. Day of the week: Saturday
45. Month: January
46. Book: Memnoch the Devil
47. Holiday: Thanksgiving- I get to cook a lot
48. Number: who the FUCK has a favorite number?
49. Cookie: choco
50. Phrase to overuse: God DAMNIT, Todd!
51. Toothpaste: Close Up!
52. Ice cream: Coffee
53. Candy: MARUKAWA FUSEN GUM
54. Teacher: give me a few decades to think about that
55. Restaurant: Pepper Chinooooooooooo
57. Type of music: techno, trance, house, jazz, classical,
58. Radio Station(s): radio kind of sucks these days
59. Shampoo/Conditioner: Herbal Essence
60. Song: Paul Oakenfold -- Hallucinogen
61. Music Video: Bjork -- All is Full of Love
62. Sport: I don't really like any of them. Wait, hockey. They kill each other.
63. Website: www.bralbghrlgalghralefjkalbalrgh.com
64. Hangout: de fishin' hole

My People

66. Friends: plenty
68. Silliest: Rob
69. Laughs the most: mee
70. Craziest: Sterling and Kathy
71. Skinniest: Todd
72. Best at keeping your secrets: Julia
73. Smartest: Larkin
74. Most innocent-looking: Mary
75. Coolest name: Matsuno and Bartkowiak
76. Stupidest: 80% of my classmates
77. Weirdest: all my friends are pretty out there
78. Most hyper: Mary
79. Never get tired of talking to: Larkin

Now is the time to Choose

81. *N Sync or BSB: FUCK YOU
82. Peanut butter or Jelly: what kind of question is that
83. Boxers or Briefs: ...
84. Matt or Ben: AGNUS DEI
85. Mtv or VH1: I don't watch TV
86. Apples or Oranges: Both
87. Vanilla or Chocolate: chocolate
88. Flowers or Candy: flowers
89. Dawson's Creek or Felicity: if those are TV shows, they both suck
90. Romantic, Comedy or Horror: horror

Julia's Believe it or Not

91. Do you believe in angels?: no
92. Aliens: yes, they're among us, look at our teachers
93. Heaven & Hell?: no
94. God?: no

Have I Ever ...

95. Been in an aircraft: yes
96. Cried in public: yes
97. Climbed a tree: yes
98. Fell asleep in a movie theater: no
99. Slept naked?: yes
100. With someone else?: there are two definitions of sleeping with someone, I recommend you be more specific

Thursday, February 19, 2004

One of these days, I'm going to make a bunch of copies of AP practice tests, and use them as kindling to set the school on fire. Those BASTARDS! I wrote the fifth practice essay for the AP test yesterday in English. Except this time, we won't be "critiquing" each other's work, so I'll fail for sure. I suck at analyzing those stupid passages about pigeons and civil rights. Am I an evil person for hating the classics? I love literature, but I don't like to hack it to pieces! Jesus! I don't care if George Eliot used a cumulative sentence to better convey the meaning of her unbearable pain. I really don't. And while I see how learning that could help my own writing, I don't see how doing only this analysis and no writing of our own is supposed to help us in any way, except prepare us for some standardized test. As great a book as it is, I think that trying to figure out why Ellison's descriptions of the moon, the church, and the organ are related is going to ruin the experience of reading it for me. Mrs.Schnell said it would be life-changing, but I think it's only life-changing in that it made me choose honors English next year. Ah well.

You know, war is sort of unpleasant. Been watching a CNN documentary on WWII and D-Day the past few days, and man, is it ever depressing. Great hearing story after story told by these vets about how their buddies got their faces shot off by angry Germans 150 feet above them. It makes one realize how meaningless and devastating at the same time. You see, when we learn that 9,000 American and British troops died here or 2 million Jews died there, we take notes and write it down as a statistic. When we read Anne Frank's diary and get a personal account from someone who really stood up for hours, naked and packed in a train like sardines, while shipped to concentration camps where the biggest concern for the Nazis was finding the most efficient method of killing. Did you know that before Normandy, we sent 6,000 Canadian soldiers to "invade" (probe the defenses of) the French countryside? They were all massacred. A statistic known only by historians and sympathetic war protestors like me. Goddamnit, I guess I'm just getting tired of hearing about American tanks run over little kids, or bombs missing their targets and hitting apartments. War isn't about survival, sadly--it's about minimizing casualties. That's all strategists do. They don't save lives, they figure out how to waste the least.

Meh. Despite my dissatisfaction with, well, the human race, my life is really quite nice these days. Or at least, in my worst feelings of detachment or depression, I've got practically no work to do at all. And I've got someone really quite remarkable to turn to. Valentine's Day was 11 months for Larkin and I.

Monday, February 16, 2004

So like, I took that test, and it basically said I like Asians, because there are no models in the damn thing that look like what I find attractive. I dunno where they got the rectangular face thing from, but the little angular face thing is pretty accurate.




Favorite Qualities
Your photo choices suggest a woman over 25 is probably getting a little old for your tastes
You seemed interested in dating a woman at least 25 or older
Round-shaped faces
So-called "Ecto-Mesomorphs," with narrow chins and nicely angular faces
So-called "Endomorphs," with full, curved faces
Blonde hair

Favorite Looks
You appreciate "Delicate Beauties." They have fine features, like pointed chins and small (or sharp) noses set in long, narrow faces with high cheekbones. They're sometimes referred to as "classic beauties," because of their very feminine and sophisticated look. About 1 in 5 men (19%) find these women irresistible.

You might head to Europe for your next vacation to see more of the "Mediterranean Beauties" you also seemed to like in the photo test. These women, from a variety of ethnic groups, share dark hair and an olive complexion. Because of their flawless complexion and very full lips, they have to wear little makeup, which adds to a sense of natural beauty. About 1 in 3 men (30%) share your excellent taste!

Favorite Face Type
Faces known scientifically as "Ecto-Mesomorphs" repeatedly caught your eye. Women express this type in two ways. One version has a rectangular face shape that is long and narrow. The other type's face shape is often compared to a diamond or a heart, because it is wide at the cheeks and then has a sharply angled jaw. Ecto-Mesomorph women have either delicate pointed chins or chins that are slightly squared-off or rounded at the base. This "classic" face type is one of the most idealized for women and can be found on most movie and music idols. These women also tend to have lean, but shapely, builds when they're young. About 57% of other men especially prefer women with this face type.

Wednesday, February 11, 2004

I haven't updated in awhile. So, um, I guess I will now.

I am actually incredibly happy with my life. Yes, I know, I get up at six every morning and go to the same cinder-block hellhole as the rest of you, but it's not difficult for me (I never really have any homework, the lucky bastard I am). If I get up, drink the half pot of leftover paint thinner, or "coffee", and force myself to dress nicely and stand in the rain waiting for the bus, I tend to have a damned pleasant day. I meet Larkin in the morning, who is such a dear creature to bring me little bags of snacks to munch on through English discussion, and receive hugs and kisses, and if I can stand the hour of Mrs.Schnell's AP Essay Bullshitting Class, I can usually read an Anne Rice novel through US History (or, as it indeed interests me, just read through the textbook and learn some interesting things for myself rather than copying down vocabulary definitions that I already know, like "attrition" and "fuqtard") and still pass the class with a 95. I've got physics with Larkin now, so I just steal kisses and pretend to learn about electromagnetic fields, and exchange shoulder rubs at the end of class. Then I can eat, read my book for another period while absorbing the German language through osmosis, and then laugh at the incompetence of the choral masses with Sterling, who I think is beginning to become angsty and depressed enough to start wearing the same kind of clothes as I do. And I've got a B in algebra, remarkably. I read a lot of books.

The days don't seem so long anymore, really--I walk home to Larkin's after school and hang around, then I'm taken home to lounge around and listen to techno. The most work I've done in weeks was tonight: five homework assignments for algebra, which I intend to turn in late to instantly raise my grade six points.

I'm even optimistic about my future. Next year is going to be the easiest I've ever had, I think--I've got to take English IV, German II, Choir, Government, Speech, and a 3-period internship course at the Greenspoint Marriott. Tough shit, right? I'll be singing, pretending to pay attention, and washing dishes/doing prep work for chefs/talking to people.

I have a splendid master plan that may, if successful, allow me to attend any culinary school I wish. I'll sell my good looks to the modeling industry. Larkin and I plan to create a portfolio of me at the beginning of this summer, and who knows how much luck I'll have? Tall, long blonde hair, blue eyes. You guys've seen those big billboards advertising that ridiculous Tarzan guy. I'm sexier than him. But the point is, if I can make money with silly photo shoots and the like, I can pay for college, and at this point, it's my only hope. My parents are as poor as my grades, and somehow I think I would like to get out of this state for once in my life for college. More expensive, yes, but the best cooking schools are definitely not in Texas, and my life ought to be interesting, damnit! Travel! Road trip to the CIA in New York! To that cozy West Palm Beach place in Florida that's got 10 master chefs for teachers. I'd love to live in an urban atmosphere, and if I'm serious about the restaurant industry, that's probably where I'm going to end up, which is a nice prospect. I love the big city. New York thrilled me; it is my dream to be able to go to a Chinatown like that anytime I wanted to, just to look around. Or better yet, to pick up expensive ingredients for a special. I'm the kind of person that's mesmerized by the interesting things on the shelves at the grocery store--the lights and colors and little shops in the city are paradise for a sensualist like me.

So anyway, I've got my aspirations all organized, finally. I thought I wanted to be a computer programmer. Can you imagine? I used to be so boring. Dreaming of writing the code for Quicken 8. It's that girl, I tells ya! She's changed me so much for the better. I'm content without relying on the guidance of some silly old God or the damn Boy Scouts.

Sunday, February 01, 2004

So, like, hotornot.com says I'm an 8.4. I like that site.

School's tomorrow. I actually did my essay on The Great Gatsby, despite how boring I thought the novel. Don't get me wrong, Fitzgerald was a damn great writer, and really had the whole symbolic moral corruption thing going, but I was ultimately really tired of reading it after 50 pages or so. "Oh, Daisy, Daisy! I want you, you unsophisticated, worthless husk of a woman!" No thank you.