And now, a collection of haikus recently composed by yours truly:

Darwin meets the Lord
Man made in his own image
God's a dumb monkey

Dumbass trips on stairs
Carrying forks, loses eyes
Now he can't climb stairs

The Pope goes to hell
Looking around, sees no children
The Mormons were right

Bush bombs cities of France
Propaganda ensues, we sigh
Now it's Freedom fries

Catholics bow in church
One man is in a wheelchair
He goes to hell now

Fish eats his food
Looking through the glass at eyes
Cat eats his food

Conservative man
Votes to ban gay people, why
Is struck by lightning

Retard playing ball
Projects an orange sphere at me
Stabby death ensues

Really short girl dies
I stepped on her after lunch
It was amusing

A sandy candle
Its lifespan ended tonight
Lack of flame torments

Television kills
The mind absorbs visual crap
Reality shows suck

Chainsaws are grindy
Joe’s legs sadly comprehend
Now he walks on stubs

Ford rolls off the road
Metal objects pierce the parts
Ford’s bleeding a lot

Drain-O is poison
Joe’s dog feels the chemical wrath
Antifreeze is worse

Pocky satisfies
Pretzel stick of tasty cocoa
Sure beats heroin

Texan Fascism
Standardized test is for fools
I will firebomb now

Carl Sagan was wrong
Aliens walk among us
Look, Michael Jackson