survey says

1.You can press a button that will make any one person explode. Who would you blow up?

Ann Coulter.

2. You can flip a switch that will wipe any band or musical artist out of existence. Which one will it be?

Creed.

3. Who would you really like to just punch in the face?

I don't really have that kind of rage...

4. What is your favourite cheese?

Stilton. Bacteria's gift to humanity.

5. You can only have one kind of sandwich. Every sandwich ingredient known to humankind is at your immediate disposal. What kind of sandwich would you have and what would be on it?

I would combine all ingredients to form Megasandwichtron.

6. You have the opportunity to sleep with the tv-celebrity of your choice. We are talking no-strings-attached sex and it can only happen once (they will never call you back). Who is it?

Whoever it was that played the main character in Underworld.

7. You have the opportunity to sleep with the music-celebrity of your choice. Same rules as above. Who is it?

The bassist from Kittie.

8. Now that you've slept with two different people in a row, you seem to be having an excellent day because you just came across a hundred-dollar bill on the sidewalk. Holy shit, a hundred bucks! How are you gonna spend it?

I would either put it towards my principal on my loan or go to Morton's of Chicago and order something with a USDA Prime stamp on it.

9. You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere. You have to depart right now. Where are you gonna go?

Napa Valley.

10. Upon arrival to the aforementioned location, you get off the plane and discover another hundred-dollar bill. Shit! Now that you are in the new location, where are you gonna go to spend that?

I would combine it with most of my checking account and eat at the French Laundry.

11. An angel appears out of Heaven and offers you a lifetime supply of the alcoholic beverage of your choice. "Be brand-specific" it says. Man! What are you gonna say about that? Even if you don't drink booze there's something you can figure out... so what's it gonna be?

Bottles upon bottles of Grand Cru Beaujolais.

12. Rufus appears out of nowhere with a time-traveling phone booth. You can go anytime in the PAST. What time are you traveling to and what are you going to do when you get there?

I don't really know. Maybe I'd go back to 1491 and discover America.

13. You discover a beautiful island upon which you may build your own society. You make the rules. What is the first rule you put into place?

No smoking.

14. You have been given the opportunity to create the half-hour TV show of your own design. What is it called and what's the premise?

I'd create a sitcom based on the lives of a few culinary students. It would be complete with a laugh track and funky slap bass lines, kind of like Seinfeld. It would be brilliant. "This is the yellow pepper coulis, and this is the... uh... the gay coulis. (laugh track)"

15. What is your favorite expletive?

God fucking damnit.

16. One night you wake up because you heard a noise. You turn on the light to find that you are surrounded by MUMMIES. The mummies aren't really doing anything, they're just standing around your bed. What do you do?

I would pay them to do my dirty work.

17. Your house is on fire, holy shit! You have just enough time to run in there and grab ONE inanimate object. Don't worry, your loved ones and pets have already made it out safely. So what's the one thing you're going to save from that blazing inferno?

Knife kit. Well, that's in my locker. So I'd save my favorite sautè pan.

18. The Angel of Death has descended upon you. Fortunately, the Angel of Death is pretty cool and in a good mood, and it offers you a half-hour to do whatever you want before you bite it. Whatcha gonna do in that half-hour?

Oh, come on. What would you do? Well, maybe not sex. Maybe I'd go out to eat at Morton's again.

19. You accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what's even cooler is that they endow you with the super-power of your choice! What's it gonna be?

Flyin' around.

20. You can re-live any point of time in your life. The time-span can only be a half-hour, though. What half-hour of your past would you like to experience again?

The half hour I experience about three half hours ago.

21. You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be?

I've had some nasty experiences in my life, but nothing that I want to erase completely. We learn from our shitty days. Maybe every time I brushed my teeth and drank orange juice.

22. You got kicked out of the country for being a time-traveling heathen who sleeps with celebrities and has super-powers. But check out this cool shit... you can move to anywhere else in the world!

Um. London. I think they speak English there.

23. This question still counts, even for those of you who are under age. Check it out. You have been eternally banned from every single bar in the world except for ONE. Which one is it gonna be?

The Smiling Moose on the Southside.

24. Hopefully you didn't mention this in the super-powers question.... If you did, then we'll just expand on that. Check it out... Suddenly, you have gained the ability to FLOAT!!! Whose house are you going to float to first, and be like "Dude, check it out, I can fucking FLOAT!!"

I'd float up to Ashley's 12th floor apartment and be like, woo~

25. The constant absorption of magical moonbeams mixed with the radioactive vegetables you consumed earlier have given you the ability to resurrect the dead famous-person of your choice. So which late celebrity will you bring back to life?

Auguste Escoffier.