You know what I don't understand? Young people antagonizing Starbucks. Most that do so have no idea what they mean when they say it's an evil corporation. People my age who claim to be alternative merely look for something mainstream to complain about, despite being clueless about capitalism. Starbucks is just an example of smart, successful business, and it's not a monopoly in any sense. Think Caribou Coffee is a cute little local Pennsylvania thing? It's the second largest non-franchise java chain in the country. Crazy Mocha isn't exactly a small business either, and independent places like the Beehive could be just as successful if they were as ambitious, but the truth is (despite that I love going to that coffeehouse) that their coffee is waaay inferior to Starbucks' (I always taste overextraction, oxidation due to grinding in advance or improper storage, burnt coffee), food tends to be stale, etc. So SHUT UP EMO KIDS AND LEARN ABOUT ECONOMICS!

I drink whole milk, skim bitches.

Well, yesterday was my last at Olive or Twist. Today I'm unemployed, but tomorrow I start my new job at Soba. I guess it's gonna be pretty damn sweet. That's all I can say about that.

This cycle is nearly over. Pastry and baking is next, along with my last two (albeit very annoying) related classes. After next cycle I can just go to the kitchen class in the morning and go home at 12:30, which will be something to look forward to, as I will have to commute to Shadyside for work directly after school now.

In nutrition the other day I stood on an electrode-riddled scale and learned that I have 12% body fat. It feels good to be in shape. Must be the urban jogging. Well, and the crazy schedule my life adheres to which keeps my BMR up, in addition to a healthy amount of caffeine intake (v. good for you, studies now show, and coffee is an antioxidant, meaning I will live forever).

Time to go somewhere. Have to get out of this dark room--my roommate is still asleep and probably will be until 6 PM, same as yesterday. V. depressing.

You know, I almost always read non-fiction. Food or travel books usually catch my fancy. I think I'm impressed more by crazy real-life adventures than crazy shit that someone made up.

I do like reading philosophy too, and theology, when the mood strikes me. I think I did so a lot more back in high school, because I had the free time to speculate. These days, even when I do have free time to read, I can't find myself learning more about Christianity or Islam, or modern mysticism, ethics, politics, etc. I just couldn't find a book today, modern or 2000 years old, that I felt like I could sit down and be enlightened by, because the truth is that I just don't freakin' agree with any of them. It's not that I don't get the points, or that I don't want a challenge to my own viewpoint. I'm just so rigidly sure that religion is not only false, but that it does more harm than good (it's still not a secular war over there, guys! wake up and smell the qahwa!), and that the idea that one can't live a fulfilling life without god is just silly, that I don't really care to study bullshit scripture anymore. Maybe I've lost interest, maybe I'm just not as much of an aspiring intellectual as I used to be, or maybe I don't need to argue this shit with people because I'm not insecure in my own beliefs.

Today I went to Oakland and wandered around a giant cathedral. Then I drank some coffee, then I came home and baked a little cake with bananas and vanilla frosting. My friends liked it.

Sincerely, John.

Super lovely day today. It's been so sunny lately, and so cold at the same time. It makes me lament the slow recession of winter that we're having, especially when we had a lame one anyway. But I'm sure I'll have plenty of northern winters to come. I did get to walk around in a crazy blizzard, have a snowball fight, roll down a hill, and draw hearts and stars on things like an arctic snow ninja.

Now that's the look of a man who's good at making muffins.

Today I needed only bananas, eggs, and butter (unsalted, you fools). But lying there in the North Side Giant Eagle, neglected and hidden away, was an entire box of beautiful blood oranges. Instead of lame vanilla frosting for my muffins, I shall have, today, blood orange glaze.

<(much shorter hair)

I got the job at Soba, man. I start on the 27th.

Stage tonight went so well. The people there are great. I get to work with incredible products and equipment, do modern food in an ever-changing menu, and I don't have to wash a single dish. And best of all, I think I've got the job. I'm getting a call Saturday but the sous thinks I'm in.

Woo! I cut my hair again and it was actually a success. Still a very scary experience, especially when you look really ridiculous at one stage of the cutting and you can't quite think of how you're going to fix it (oh, layers. that should fix the very girlish bob I've created for myself).

Amazing Kids Way!

Well, I hope everyone had a lovely Valentine's Day. I ended up having plans after all; I clocked out of work around 7:30 and had coffee with someone fun in Oakland. Ended up wandering around that area until the wee hours of the morning with said someone, and had to make a mad dash, low on blood by one pint and wearing combat boots, for a retreating bus home. It was a good time.

Tonight's the normal shift--four to close--but I'm ready. Totally stoked. My only real day off this week is Sunday, since tomorrow night I'm at Soba in Shadyside to do my stage in their kitchen. I am so excited about this oppurtunity. My first experience in a fine dining restaurant, man. And if I get the job, I'll finally be able to start looking for an apartment.

There's a waitress at work who's about six inches taller than me. It's awesome. I'll be behind the line and it's like, "Hey, can you reach up there and get the Kosher salt for me?"

Soon it will be time for muffinbaking. Soon. I have the pans, the ingredients, and the mindset, and all I need is time.

I still have parsnips, turnips, and carrots. I now also have enough stuff to make hoppin' john (red beans and rice) for several Mondays, unless my celery and bell peppers go bad. It was all so cheap though. The marketplace in the Strip is an incredible place for food--amazingly fresh produce at restaurant prices, but catered to individuals. Don't want a whole case of red peppers? You can buy a single one, wrapped in plastic and priced at forty-something cents. I swear, my refridgerator does not look like it belongs in a college guy's dorm.

Sometimes all I can do when writing journal-style is list my thoughts in single sentences.

Tasty tasty sausage browned with garlic, onions and oregano; potato gnocchi with parmesan cheese, root vegetable medley of carrots, turnips and parsnips.

OMFG! BLIZZARD!

I <3 parsnips and turnips.

Contemplative in the city?

Job interview went well today. I scored a stage at the restaurant next Thursday--a event which involves me shadowing some cooks on the line, helping out at various stations and getting a feel for the kitchen. If they think I'm cool after I do a little work in that time, I'll get a job offer. Next Thursday will decide if I start rocking some haute cuisine or keep deck-brushing the vinyl floor with Tide every night. It'll also tell me where to get an apartment. I've been thinking of getting one in that area anyway. A friend of mine told me tonight to check out the South Side, but I don't think it's for me, especially if I get this job. I'd rather live close to the universities, and I like going to East Carson occasionally, but it's really just a big long strip of bars and nightclubs--not something I'd like to live up the hill from. In any case I can't wait to get the hell out of this dorm. I don't care if paying rent drives me mad as long as I've got my own little space and no communal bathroom.

run sole special.
fillet and skin sole.
cut sole into four-ounce portions.
dust sole with flour.
pan-fry sole in a hot cast-iron skillet.
plate sole up with batonnet carrots and Duchesse potatoes.

sell sole to customer.

(Sterling's artwork)

Had a lovely filèt mignon tonight with a marsala jus liè and my own risotto alla parmigiana. Nice. I must admit it is nice to get such a dinner at your place of employment for seven dollars, and to have the ability to cook it yourself.

I've got a job interview tomorrow at another upscale restaurant, also in Shadyside. I hope I get hired by one of these two places.

Valentine's Day is soon! <3

Also, I wear a hat sometimes. >

I made that today >

soup soup

I found my recipe for potato leek soup! It's going digital so I never lose it again.

Chef Heidelmeier's Potato Leek Chowder

4 leeks, cut up (the good part)
4 potatoes, cut up
2 oz. butter
4 oz. milk
4 oz. heavy cream
1 qt. rich white stock
1/4 tsp chervil
2 T celery, small dice
2 T shallots, minced
parsley, as needed

Sautè the leeks and shallots gently in half the butter. Add the stock, some salt, the celery, and the potatoes, and simmer for about a half hour.

Mash up some of the potato (not all) with an immersion blender. If you don't have one, a slotted spoon, potato masher, or whatever you can come up with works just fine. You're not making a bisque--this is a chunky, soulful, complete meal. Stir in the cream. If it's not the consistency you like, you can just let it reduce a little bit, or mash up more of the potato. Adjust the seasoning with Kosher salt and freshly ground black pepper. Serve in a big bowl with parsley, or chives if you prefer, as garnish.

Don't let it boil, especially after you mash up the potato. Not only is that not so good for the flavor, but this soup will burn the shit out of you if it bubbles. It's seriously like hot oil--it clings to you and sears your skin off.

toosdè

The marinade Chef made for the fruit today was mad alcoholic. It was seriously a big melon baller martini.

Gotta find something to do on my day off today.

Back is killing me. I think I picked something up the wrong way last night.

That is all. Too tired for coherent paragraphs.

~With so much left to seek, the lease runs out next week.

omg, go steelers.

^if you can't beat them, you must join them. I love the Pittsburgh Steelers.^

Everything's going so wonderfully right now. Seriously. It's just great. Work, school, life, it's incredible. Existence is just one big saucepan of saffron risotto.

<3mishajoy

sarcastic mr.know-it-all

^my life is not from concentrate^

I am not sick. I am not sick. I am not sick. It is only a sore throat. I am not sick. I will drink this entire carton of orange juice just in case. Just an eight-hour shift on the day before the superbowl and then I can have a day off. And I'm not sick.

Dying my hair black again. It's always kind of bad when the roots start coming in--the contrast looks really silly, kind of like my hair's thinning. I'm liking my hair a lot better now, black and quite a bit shorter.

Did I mention this? I had an interview at a really, really nice restaurant last week, and I'm waiting on a call back. I really hope I get the job, because it would be a huge leap from bar and grill cuisine.

I am going to work now. Ouch.

we're lookin' for someone to do sautè.

I took the knife skills practical again today--we do it once a cycle. 99 percent. And I used a giant carbon-steel cleaver instead of a French knife.

I dunno what to expect at work tomorrow. Either everyone's going to be hangin' out at home before the big game, or they'll be going crazy drinking all of our frosty alcoholic beverages. I don't know. I don't quite know the secrets of the football fanatic's mind yet. All I know is that this city uses anything it can as an excuse to party. I'm happy for them but I don't really care about the game. It will be very gloomy around here if the Steelers lose, however.
^ That's pecan bran breaded red snapper with beet-infused cous cous, asparagus, and red and yellow pepper coulis. It's good.

~<3

survey says

1.You can press a button that will make any one person explode. Who would you blow up?

Ann Coulter.

2. You can flip a switch that will wipe any band or musical artist out of existence. Which one will it be?

Creed.

3. Who would you really like to just punch in the face?

I don't really have that kind of rage...

4. What is your favourite cheese?

Stilton. Bacteria's gift to humanity.

5. You can only have one kind of sandwich. Every sandwich ingredient known to humankind is at your immediate disposal. What kind of sandwich would you have and what would be on it?

I would combine all ingredients to form Megasandwichtron.

6. You have the opportunity to sleep with the tv-celebrity of your choice. We are talking no-strings-attached sex and it can only happen once (they will never call you back). Who is it?

Whoever it was that played the main character in Underworld.

7. You have the opportunity to sleep with the music-celebrity of your choice. Same rules as above. Who is it?

The bassist from Kittie.

8. Now that you've slept with two different people in a row, you seem to be having an excellent day because you just came across a hundred-dollar bill on the sidewalk. Holy shit, a hundred bucks! How are you gonna spend it?

I would either put it towards my principal on my loan or go to Morton's of Chicago and order something with a USDA Prime stamp on it.

9. You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere. You have to depart right now. Where are you gonna go?

Napa Valley.

10. Upon arrival to the aforementioned location, you get off the plane and discover another hundred-dollar bill. Shit! Now that you are in the new location, where are you gonna go to spend that?

I would combine it with most of my checking account and eat at the French Laundry.

11. An angel appears out of Heaven and offers you a lifetime supply of the alcoholic beverage of your choice. "Be brand-specific" it says. Man! What are you gonna say about that? Even if you don't drink booze there's something you can figure out... so what's it gonna be?

Bottles upon bottles of Grand Cru Beaujolais.

12. Rufus appears out of nowhere with a time-traveling phone booth. You can go anytime in the PAST. What time are you traveling to and what are you going to do when you get there?

I don't really know. Maybe I'd go back to 1491 and discover America.

13. You discover a beautiful island upon which you may build your own society. You make the rules. What is the first rule you put into place?

No smoking.

14. You have been given the opportunity to create the half-hour TV show of your own design. What is it called and what's the premise?

I'd create a sitcom based on the lives of a few culinary students. It would be complete with a laugh track and funky slap bass lines, kind of like Seinfeld. It would be brilliant. "This is the yellow pepper coulis, and this is the... uh... the gay coulis. (laugh track)"

15. What is your favorite expletive?

God fucking damnit.

16. One night you wake up because you heard a noise. You turn on the light to find that you are surrounded by MUMMIES. The mummies aren't really doing anything, they're just standing around your bed. What do you do?

I would pay them to do my dirty work.

17. Your house is on fire, holy shit! You have just enough time to run in there and grab ONE inanimate object. Don't worry, your loved ones and pets have already made it out safely. So what's the one thing you're going to save from that blazing inferno?

Knife kit. Well, that's in my locker. So I'd save my favorite sautè pan.

18. The Angel of Death has descended upon you. Fortunately, the Angel of Death is pretty cool and in a good mood, and it offers you a half-hour to do whatever you want before you bite it. Whatcha gonna do in that half-hour?

Oh, come on. What would you do? Well, maybe not sex. Maybe I'd go out to eat at Morton's again.

19. You accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what's even cooler is that they endow you with the super-power of your choice! What's it gonna be?

Flyin' around.

20. You can re-live any point of time in your life. The time-span can only be a half-hour, though. What half-hour of your past would you like to experience again?

The half hour I experience about three half hours ago.

21. You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be?

I've had some nasty experiences in my life, but nothing that I want to erase completely. We learn from our shitty days. Maybe every time I brushed my teeth and drank orange juice.

22. You got kicked out of the country for being a time-traveling heathen who sleeps with celebrities and has super-powers. But check out this cool shit... you can move to anywhere else in the world!

Um. London. I think they speak English there.

23. This question still counts, even for those of you who are under age. Check it out. You have been eternally banned from every single bar in the world except for ONE. Which one is it gonna be?

The Smiling Moose on the Southside.

24. Hopefully you didn't mention this in the super-powers question.... If you did, then we'll just expand on that. Check it out... Suddenly, you have gained the ability to FLOAT!!! Whose house are you going to float to first, and be like "Dude, check it out, I can fucking FLOAT!!"

I'd float up to Ashley's 12th floor apartment and be like, woo~

25. The constant absorption of magical moonbeams mixed with the radioactive vegetables you consumed earlier have given you the ability to resurrect the dead famous-person of your choice. So which late celebrity will you bring back to life?

Auguste Escoffier.

spontanaeity, a few paragraphs

Rex tremendae majestatis,
qui salvandos salvas gratis,
salva me, fons pietatis.

I miss the clef. It was never about the people or the recognition, though the sense of self-accomplishment and community helped me immeasurably during that time in my life. It was always just about the music, the experience, much like it's simply about the food and its sensual impact on my life now. Music is much like cuisine--it's a self-indulgent career despite the hard work, and it's something that impacts the senses long before the intellect no matter the argument against that. It's also a craft before it's an art. There is a right way to sit up and breathe correctly before there is a creative license to change a score.

The glory of God has nothing to do with the glory of Mozart's requiem mass. The message is one tired and old, but it is the in-the-moment raw physical experience of hearing it, the audible magnificence of human creativity scrawled on a grand staff that is so beautifully shattering to our senses. The chords themselves are more worthy of worship than God--they represent something higher than petty dogma. A mentor of mine once said that music brings people together. Perfection in music does that, secularly, before it incites the ten commandments or glorifies Christ.

Consider this:

"...he notes that even after Italy's unification in the mid-nineteenth century, the country could scarcely converse with one another because all the regions spoke various dialects. Then a guy named Pellegrino Artusi published a book called The Science of Cookery and the Art of Eating Well, written in formal Italian. The book was extraordinarily popular, and people from north to south, east and west read the thing and as a result created a common language for the entire country. Though an Italian man or woman was likely to speak in the local dialect after the book was published in 1891, the cookbook may be credited with determining the language that a century hence all Italians would speak. If a cookbook could determine a country's language, Mariana suggests, then perhaps cookery and the art of eating well are not so shallow and self-indulgent as they may at first seem."

-The Soul of a Chef, Michael Ruhlman

So maybe devoting your life to orgasmically good food isn't so self-indulgent? Whether you're working the line or the score, or delegating in Washington, you can still make momentous contributions to humanity. I guess what I conclude is that both music and cuisine can bring people together. Food for thought.

~Do you see that perfect brunoise? It is a perfect and uniform sixteenth-inch dice, do you know how hard that is to do? Every single one is the same, hundreds of them, like confetti but cut by hand!