We got a rather large grouper in today, and Chef threw some fillets at me to skin and employ in a dish of my own. It's what I love about this school--creativity is encouraged and even expected, because the instructors know that what we come up with will be good if we're left on our own. The guys with the other half of the fish went with an elaborate Asian-influenced presentation that required a full minute for its ingredients to be explained. It came out fine, but I found it way too complex. I went simple with a colorful fresh basil and lemon marinade, with a shallot or two and some bell pepper scraps, and grilled it medium with a slice of lemon. It's served with Dauphinoise potatoes, broccoli with lime beurre noisette, and roasted tomatoes.

this is what it's about. this, right here, this plate of food.

Went out to dinner with Rensel today. Our culinary expeditions have become something of a Sunday tradition with us. After a week of usually working with food for eleven hours a day, we take our mutual days off to experience cuisine from the consumer's perspective. Sitting down to have a nice meal without worrying about the multitasking chaos of the Back of the House is the ultimate release from reality.

Today, at Kaya in the Strip, a Carribbean joint owned by a potential employer for me, it was wild Alaskan salmon grilled rare and served with wheat berries and sauteèd carrots, green peppers, and onions in some kind of warm vinaigrette. It was stunning--the symphony of ingredients represented my style of cooking. Flavors were not subtle or hinting at massive starch thickeners at an afterthought; they were bright, vibrant and refreshing, and unabashedly in-your-face. I would not pay to each a lightly seasoned Duchesse potato. I would, however, pay for this dish again, which was acidic without being harsh, contrasting without being outrageous, and thoughtful, even mysterious. At the first bite of the green peppers, I thought I was eating nopalitos. The wheat berries were flavor-intense, like a barley pilaf on angel dust, with an intriguing texture that was chewy, yet firm and easy to eat.

Jenn got a bit of lamb loin from Elysian Fields, the most prestigious farm in the country and located in PA. It was served with enchiladas refritos frijoles negros, some kind of adobo chutney, and green beans. We traded a few things from our plates to get a fuller taste of Kaya's menu. You think you can't get good mexican food in the North? You're full of shit. Nowhere near that Tex-Mex stuff, the enchiladas were perfectly seasoned with cumin and cayenne, nice and crispy, and full of very well-executed refried black beans. It didn't knock you on your ass with spice, it wasn't covered in that shitty Mexican Velveeta, and it wasn't doused in Crisco-based "Molè" sauce. And the lamb? There is no God. There is only Elysian Fields lamb.

On my agenda this week is to learn to make beignets. I also want to do some things with some jasmine rice I picked up at the Asian grocery, and maybe make some polenta. Polenta I must become good at. I have so many ideas for food and not the time or resources to execute them.

Anyway, other things that have been going on:

-Waiting for my tax return. Nice.
-Very, very busy at work lately. Reservations were sold out on Wednesday and while today was my day off and felt really nice, I still feel like I need about 16 more hours of sleep. We got slammed last night about 15 minutes before close, which didn't make our chances of ever getting off work look good.
-I can't sleep.
-I'm looking for a place to live in preparation for leaving this godawful dormitory and starting my externship.
-I think I may have secured an externship. I'm waiting for a phone call or an e-mail. But I talked to some really great guys on Thursday--the corporate chef and an executive chef from a big restaurant group in Pittsburgh that owns some pretty damn nice places, including the one I went to today. It's soon time for me to move up in the biz.

~I love all of you
hurt by the cold

I gotta remember how I did these carrots. So,

Heidelmeier's Pretty Good Roasted Carrots

Take a couple of carrots and cut them in half, then split them lengthwise. Don't peel them, you'll lose flavor and nutritive value--wash them and scrub them hard with a side towel. Using a channel knife or just a French knife if you're good, cut the cores of the carrot segments out, making grooves. Have a little bit of balsamic vinegar reducing over the fire.

Toss the carrots in a hot sautè pan with olive oil, a generous amount of Kosher salt and freshly ground black pepper. Turn the heat off and arrange them all in the pan groove side up. Brush or drizzle a bit of your reduced balsamic in the grooves, then finish stuffing them with a finely minced paste of a sweet onion, a couple of cremini mushrooms, and at least two cloves of garlic, depending on your taste. Throw a lid on it and shove it in a 350 degree oven.

When the carrots are pretty close to done (al dente), take the pan out and cover the grooves in the carrots with a bit of grated parmesan cheese, and throw it back in to finish. Serve immediately and enjoy with an entire bottle of good pinot noir. No, that is sadly not what I did.

fish veloutè

Think I might take up jogging. I went on a three-mile urban jogging adventure with the roomie the other day and I was surprised at how I was actually still in shape. It might snow tonight. Running in the snow would definitely be sweet, as long as I remember to take a refreshing bottle of phitness-ade.

I'm gonna play CS and then do my damn taxes.

saffron is expensive

This lobster was delicious, but filling.

~straight-edge

go stillers

Nice weekend. There was a Steeler's game today, so we were fairly dead Saturday as Pittsburghers rested their livers for Sunday football. I ended the week at a pleasant 31 hours.

I'm starting to search for a place to live in this city, in preparation for whatever externship I find. It's gonna have to be cheap--either a tiny efficiency apartment or a studio, or a two-bedroom with a roommate. Probably the latter. I'll have to meet someone new or maybe just find someone who needs a roommate, because no one from my school wants to stay in Pittsburgh. Pessimists. I guess it'll depend on where I work, too--I'm not getting a place in Bellevue if I have to work in South Hills.

I have to clean up this place either tomorrow before I go out to eat with Jenn and John, or Thursday. I love my organized chaos, but I've got too much stuff and I truly just need to throw a bunch of shit away. One thing that I do need to acquire, however, is a muffin pan. Salvation Army might be on my To Do list.

~I told you that I'm crazy for these cupcakes, cousin

silence noise forming sound like silent noise

Mmm. Asparagus sandwich.

The new menu at work is great; a lot more oppurtunities to create ceiling-high fireballs in sautè pans and apply a little bit more skill to what I do. It is harder, but it's a little more in line with what I want to be doing in the future, and nice Italian pasta dishes with prosciutto shavings and homemade garlic bread beats the hell out of burgers and fries.

a beautiful, sunny, 67 degree Pittsburgh day. (wtf?)

Well, we're into the second day of seafood production.

It's really, really good. And I'm having a fucking blast. Actually, today is just a Goddamn great day period. It would be good without the Sole a'la Meunier or the Pan-Fried Catfish with Corn Fritters, or even the Orange Hoisin-Glazed Cod with Sauteed Spinach and Orange Rice Pilaf.

Chef Laconte is an absolute badass, letting us use our own experience and creativity when seasoning our items and using up extra products. The hoisin cod was not on the menu--we got twice the cod and no steakfish from the storeroom today so a few cooks came up with something to do with it, and it turned out fabulous. He's also hilarious.

On fried shoestring potatoes:
Chef: These shoestring potatoes better be seasoned today.
*munch*
Chef: Where's Dickhead? THESE POTATOES ARE BLAND!
---
On grilled vegetable marinade:
Chef: STEFANIE! THAT'S MALT VINEGAR!
Stefanie: Well, yeah...
Chef: Excellent choice.

I feel like buying a bottle of Freixenet and celebrating existence.

~as long as you love me so,
let it snow, let it snow, let it snow!

Woo. Today was my day off, so I made those cookies on the side panel of my computer. Other than that, it has been rather uneventful. I went to Schwartz, bought ingredients, came home, baked, and then puttered around the rest of the afternoon. I am actually still puttering around. I think everyone but me was busy today.

Very strange getting used to having much less hair. It is also nice because my hats are not tight, I can see well, and people can tell that I have a face underneath all those long, dark tresses. I still can't believe I actually cut it myself though. I probably could've ended up looking really, really ugly had I botched the job.

I hope I see the person these cookies are for tomorrow on my morning routine. What is it with me and baristas? There's just something wildly hot about a woman who knows how to make a shot of espresso.

Seafood production will start Thursday. Tomorrow Chef will do some demos for us. I can only imagine the chaos--first day of production in a new class is always a mess. No one knows where anything is, we're doing things for the first time ever on new equipment, and it's not like anyone ever does their homework by reading the Goddamn recipes. I'm at a table with a good crew though.

Also, Thursday is the start of the new menu at work. I won't be working a full shift by any stretch, but the few hours will determine how our establishment prepares pasta for the rest of its existence, etc.

~...seas between us broad have roared,
Since auld lang syne.

Chef Heidelmeier's Oatmeal Raisin Cookies

1 C butter
1.5 C very dark brown sugar (made by mixing molasses with granulated sugar)
2 eggs
shot of vanilla
1.5 C flour
shot of baking soda
several shots of cinnamon
shot of ground clove
shot of kosher salt
2.5 C oats
1 C very moist raisins
a carrot, boiled until you can smash it with a big cleaver

Mix up the fat and sugar. Add the eggs, finely mashed carrot, cinnamon, and clove, and mix it all up. Add the flour, baking soda, and salt, and incorporate. Add oats and raisins. Make tablespoonish drops on the unpainted side of a PC case's left panel, or a cookie sheet if you're not in college. Bake at 350 for ten minutes or so. Wear a really sweet hat while doing all of this.

holy shit, I can see when I look down

So I got tired of trying to find time for a hair appointment, and I figured I'd want to go to a pretty good (expensive) place like Philip Pelusi or some shit. So I cut my hair. To my astonishment, I am not bald, nor do I look like a large, black-haired schoolgirl (my new look before I had finished layers). I had never done this before. But I am happy with the overall outcome, although it basically just turned out similar to the shorter look I had senior year. It's a lot easier to co-exist with. I work too much for a high-maintenance hairstyle. The picture's a little dark, like the hair, so when it's not 2 AM sometime this week I'll take a better one.

~to give your love no matter what
is what she said

let it, let it

Pittsburgh is cute. I've never been a big fan of sports in general, and it can be said that I don't like football particularly. But every time I walk past a nightclub and instead of some trashy Gwen Stefani song I hear "Here we go Steelers, here we go! Pittsburgh's goin' to the Superbowl!" it really makes me smile. Maybe because it's a sign of this city's surviving never give up attitude, or maybe just because I've always wanted to have a little spirit for the place I live. I don't know. I hope they win tomorrow.

Deep-cleaned the grill tonight, and the netherparts of the fryers. I felt like neither of those things had ever been done before--I had to use a spatula to do most of the cleaning, cutting off half-inch thick strips of leatherlike, years-old grease. It was uncharacteristically slow tonight, which is what prompted me to do all the extra work--we had so few orders come in from 7 to 11 that I was able to keep the grill completely disassembled the entire time. It was really good to get that work done, but I was sad to not be busy with orders. I had a great special. Blackened twin strip steaks with a lime chili sauce (and choice of two sides! gasp!). I seriously should've bought one and taken it home for myself, because the sauce my buddy made was super good.

I could really go for a big bowl of either risotto alla parmigiana or clam chowder. Clam chowder may be my most favorite food in the world but it is not something you can eat from a can if you want a cheap subsitute. There's always sand in it. Every Goddamn time.

~no, I get by with a little help from my friends

I guess it's photodump time~

rode the six hundred, cannon to right of them, cannon to left of them, falling on thunder... THE TROOPER!

Well, I managed not to say bomb or terrorist or "fuck the president" for a day, so I'm back in wintry Pittsburgh. It's good to be back in the swing of things all at once, and besides that, I love it here. Things will be tougher this semester--working on finding an externship (here in the Burgh, if at all possible), and when I do that, I have to find a place to live. I made the first payment on my loan today. Class is going to be a lot harder. I start Seafood and Charcuterie on Monday, and after that it's Fundamentals of Baking and Pastry, and then the Advanced classes where we quit boiling tournè carrots and mixing whipped potatoes and start searing foie gras and making white truffle risotto.

~they're tryin' to build a prison
for you and me

pie jesu domine / dona eis requiem / thump

Well, the year is over. With the new year, I'll be truly settled into my new life--as both a professional cook and an independent person. Of course, I've already accomplished both of those things, at least to start with--they were my resolutions for 2005. I have only one this year: carpe diem.

My stay in Texas is also over. Tomorrow I make the trip back to Pittsburgh. Oddly, I don't think of Spring as my "home" anymore; it's really just a place I'm visiting. I never was really crazy about this town. It's got a few charms like Pepper Chino, Mr.Raddin's choir, and the ability to see stars at night. But truth be told, the view from Mount Washington is far more spectacular. Living in the Golden Triangle these past few months has changed my life, and I'm beginning to think that remaining in the Burgh for an externship wouldn't be too bad if I couldn't continue my urbanite existence in some other New England metropolis. I am sad to say that my general experience with the South has left me a little bitter towards hot weather and Republicans, and that I have fallen in love with the biting cold and the skyscrapers of the City of Steel.

That said, my recipes will be soaked in tears as I think of my friends and family during the flight. I am really, really, really, really going to miss some people here. I will see you all again this year if it means walking South from Liberty Avenue. Happy New Year.