This, my friends, is why the low-carb dieting trend is fucking retarded. I'm not even going to use any scientific data, charts, or nutritional studies or some bullshit like that. I'm just going to give you plain common sense, which is really all I ever do in this blog.

Americans eat too Goddamn much. It's not just too much carbs, or too much protein, or too much starch, or too much fat. It's too much everything. Go out to eat and find me a place that doesn't serve you a portion that isn't about the size of your head. Especially in Texas. We're just gluttons, that's all. It's damned ridiculous to think that eating less CEREAL will make us lose that extra 200 pounds we've packed on. If you're cutting the cereal, try cutting the hundred strips of bacon, multiple chunks of sausage doused in grease and maple syrup and butter, and oily hash browns you eat at McDonalds every morning when you're on the way to not exercising.

Another really damn simple point: if you've ever paid any attention in school, you know about the Law of Conservation of Energy (or Mass)). Food is energy, idiots. Therefore, if you ingest food, and do not expend energy by moving around, then the energy will get deposited in your gut. It doesn't Goddamn matter if it's in the form of carbohydrates or coconut oil or whatever. I mean, what the fuck?

I know, of course, that some people have diabetes, metabolic disorders, etc. and that's okay, because I'm really just flaming stupid dieting trends; it'd be retarded to tell Stephen Hawking to go run a mile. Maybe I don't have much say in the issue anyway because I weigh 145 and have the metabolism of a hummingbird, but I happen to move around a LOT. I mow lawns, work out, ride my bike, walk home from school occasionally, and actually, have a hard time keeping weight. I imagine if I just sat here all summer and ate the sheer amount of calories I eat daily right now, I wouldn't be quite so trim. I mean, Christ, I just ate a whole damn pizza.