My apologies for not updating enough. I know I'm supposed to write paragraphs upon paragraphs of information in here, but it just escaped me this past week.
Anyway, yeah, today sucked. Worst Friday ever, in fact. I didn't really sleep much at all, and due to one thing.
Jenn broke up with me last night. I dunno why this kind of thing happens. I'm perfectly happy in a relationship, enjoying another's company and conversation an so forth, when all of a sudden, something goes wrong on the other end, and I get dumped. She says she lost interest in me, and I believe her, of course. It was pretty obvious this week that this was coming to me; I noticed Jenn just didn't really want to do anything with me, you know, hold hands, hug each other, any of that. I thought maybe she was just tired from staying up all night Sunday, or she was just worried about her weight or something again. I guess I was wrong, so she decided we should just be friends. One phrase to end it all.
In any case, I'm not going to say anything bad about Jennifer. Ever. I was really happy with her, and though I regret it had to end like this, it was great while it lasted. She's a great girl, and we had fun, so I'm going to try and not let it get me down.
In other news, I hate sectional seating in choir. Inconceivably so. I have to sit between Palisin and the tenors, and it sucks. Why the hell does Palisin carry his backpack and his athletics bag onto the risers every day? It leads me to the same old question: why the hell is he even in chorale?! He sucks! He's been tone deaf ever since junior high choir when Mrs.Travis tried to get him to sing notes. Yes, notes. It did not work. We do the warmups every day, and he's like, a half step higher than everyone else! I'm just glad he's not a loud singer. Not only does he suck, but like I said, he carries his athletics bag and backpack onto the risers every day, and packs up five minutes before the bell rings. During this time of not having his choir folder, he just looks at my music. I can't believe Mr.Raddin hasn't chewed his ass off for it. Die, Palisin, die.
Mrs.Sampogna moved us in geometry! I don't get to sit with Kara, who's cool and lets me yoink the answers off her tests when we correct them, or Sam, who plays guitar for The Imposters, and is also cool. I'm outraged. I still get to wave to Kara from across the room though! It's fun. Fun, fun geometry. Did I mention I'm failing that class?
Julia- thanks for being there for me. I think if you hadn't been there to cheer me up in choir today I would've just, um, I dunno, exploded. My head would have exploded with confetti.
Friday, January 31, 2003
Monday, January 27, 2003
Well, not a terribly bad Monday, as far as Mondays go. I actually woke up on time today and I've stayed pretty awake most of the day, much to my surprise. Last night I went to bed at about ten, but actually fell asleep at 1:47, which made me a little doubtful of my alarm clock's ability to awaken me.
Substitute teacher in English had us do this 19-question quiz for no reason whatsoever and SHIT I FORGOT TO WRITE MY ENGLISH PAPER SHIT
Substitute teacher in English had us do this 19-question quiz for no reason whatsoever and SHIT I FORGOT TO WRITE MY ENGLISH PAPER SHIT
Tuesday, January 21, 2003
Well, I'm back from riding my bike. I'm going to try to do that more often; I hate it when my legs get a little weaker after a few weeks of not riding. Did a few extra miles today just because I felt like it. I guess today is one of the few weekdays I'm not tired beyond all levels of insomnia. It's really quite nice...
Anyway, pretty crappy-average day, dealt with a good bit of boringness and incompetence today, but then again, I usually do. Slept in English while everyone else read Julius Caesar, and as irresponsible as that sounds, it really isn't, considering I've already read the first act anyway. Damnable slow people. If anyone ever asks me what foreshadowing is again, I'll just flip out and kill them. Like a ninja.
I always get to PE too early. I swear, it's not fun to go into the locker room and it's just you the coach. From now on, I walk slowly. In any case, continued to play basketball with the same crowd: Bryan, the big guy Jeremy from my choir, Chris, and a couple of Whatshisnames. I actually made a shot today! It increased our score from one to two at the end of the period. Amazing.
I can't stand programming! It can't get any worse. The only thing I have to do is read PvP on the internet, once I go to the trouble of hacking the crappy little internet restraint program, playing NetHack, which I saved onto my student disk, or sleeping. Their internet bugs me too... It's got some firewall crap that only lets you go to certain websites. I think tomorrow I'll just delete it, or plant some backdoor virus in it, or something. I really just don't feel like playing by their rules anymore. Who the hell cares if I turn up the resolution on the monitors? They're not going to emit any more radiation then they did, and it makes the workspace for Visual SHITSIC a little less retarded. I put the Goddamn taskbar on auto-hide and people can't find it anymore. I despise ineptitude.
Chemistry kinda sucked today, as we had a quiz. I had no idea what I was doing, and although Mr.McCormick said I did every single thing wrong, I got an 80 on it. Such a cool teacher. Hurrah for bulletproof vest-jackets and cigars!
Oh dear. We're beginning to learn our music in choir for New York, and usually this would make me pretty happy to be in there, but now we're forced to practice it at home. No, it's not just a sort of trust thing, it's for a grade. Mrs.Travis come back to haunt me in my high-school years. We've got to fill out our rehearsal schedule and get it signed by our parents. I think I would seriously rather do after-school rehearsals every day. At least I could get rides in Julia's ubercar. But on the subject of the music, I found something a little interesting: at the end of one of the songs, the very last note for every part is just an eighth note with an arrow pointing upward, and it says "Any note, as high as possible". Jesus fucking Christ. Figuratively. If we actually do that, it's going to sound really weird. For once, however, I may enjoy sectional seating. Can you imagine being on the edge of the sopranos during that? I'd go deaf!
Jenn's not feeling too well today, and now she's got a fever. Why is everyone getting diseased? It's so sad! I bet Rob will feel all better and come back to school, and Julia will get the plague or something. Accursed sickness.
I had this really screwed up dream last night that I thought I'd share. I was walking out of the high rise with Halley after fourth period, and once we got out of the little rain-cover deal, I saw this gleam in the air and just like that, this javelin impaled me and staked me to the ground through my side. Halley was like, "Wow John, should I pull the javelin out?" And then, once I was being carted to an ambulance, I noticed that Mary had been in her lacrosse uniform, and had been the thrower, from over by the choir building. She was like, "Sorry!"
Tonight I'm sleeping with the fan on. Without any ambient noise, I think my subconscious mind loses itself.
Anyway, pretty crappy-average day, dealt with a good bit of boringness and incompetence today, but then again, I usually do. Slept in English while everyone else read Julius Caesar, and as irresponsible as that sounds, it really isn't, considering I've already read the first act anyway. Damnable slow people. If anyone ever asks me what foreshadowing is again, I'll just flip out and kill them. Like a ninja.
I always get to PE too early. I swear, it's not fun to go into the locker room and it's just you the coach. From now on, I walk slowly. In any case, continued to play basketball with the same crowd: Bryan, the big guy Jeremy from my choir, Chris, and a couple of Whatshisnames. I actually made a shot today! It increased our score from one to two at the end of the period. Amazing.
I can't stand programming! It can't get any worse. The only thing I have to do is read PvP on the internet, once I go to the trouble of hacking the crappy little internet restraint program, playing NetHack, which I saved onto my student disk, or sleeping. Their internet bugs me too... It's got some firewall crap that only lets you go to certain websites. I think tomorrow I'll just delete it, or plant some backdoor virus in it, or something. I really just don't feel like playing by their rules anymore. Who the hell cares if I turn up the resolution on the monitors? They're not going to emit any more radiation then they did, and it makes the workspace for Visual SHITSIC a little less retarded. I put the Goddamn taskbar on auto-hide and people can't find it anymore. I despise ineptitude.
Chemistry kinda sucked today, as we had a quiz. I had no idea what I was doing, and although Mr.McCormick said I did every single thing wrong, I got an 80 on it. Such a cool teacher. Hurrah for bulletproof vest-jackets and cigars!
Oh dear. We're beginning to learn our music in choir for New York, and usually this would make me pretty happy to be in there, but now we're forced to practice it at home. No, it's not just a sort of trust thing, it's for a grade. Mrs.Travis come back to haunt me in my high-school years. We've got to fill out our rehearsal schedule and get it signed by our parents. I think I would seriously rather do after-school rehearsals every day. At least I could get rides in Julia's ubercar. But on the subject of the music, I found something a little interesting: at the end of one of the songs, the very last note for every part is just an eighth note with an arrow pointing upward, and it says "Any note, as high as possible". Jesus fucking Christ. Figuratively. If we actually do that, it's going to sound really weird. For once, however, I may enjoy sectional seating. Can you imagine being on the edge of the sopranos during that? I'd go deaf!
Jenn's not feeling too well today, and now she's got a fever. Why is everyone getting diseased? It's so sad! I bet Rob will feel all better and come back to school, and Julia will get the plague or something. Accursed sickness.
I had this really screwed up dream last night that I thought I'd share. I was walking out of the high rise with Halley after fourth period, and once we got out of the little rain-cover deal, I saw this gleam in the air and just like that, this javelin impaled me and staked me to the ground through my side. Halley was like, "Wow John, should I pull the javelin out?" And then, once I was being carted to an ambulance, I noticed that Mary had been in her lacrosse uniform, and had been the thrower, from over by the choir building. She was like, "Sorry!"
Tonight I'm sleeping with the fan on. Without any ambient noise, I think my subconscious mind loses itself.
Sunday, January 19, 2003
Wow, I haven't updated in a week. I guess it's just because of the boringness of sitting around here. Even though I have nothing to do, I can't seem to find the effort in me to write anything in the blog. Since my computer is dead, I'm really just sitting around here on AIM, listening to music and drinking tea. But I don't really care about my computer. It'l be nice once I get the money to fix it, but it's not a necessity. I'm too happy with my life!
Yesterday I was over at Jenn's house busy "fixing her computer". I really did get some work done, but we ended up on her couch watching Ever After. Such a sad movie! Her parents want me to network their computers once they get their new one, and I have to say, it's probably going to be pretty challenging. I've set up router/cable modem networks before, but I've never done anything with wireless technology, and I think I really have to do some research on the top hardware that's out there today. I am not drilling holes in their house to lay cable; it's just too much trouble.
So anyway, last week was a maelstrom of nothingness. Benchmark test in English, and two days of practically sitting around doing nothing made that class once again trivial. We'll start reading Julius Caesar on Tuesday. Exciting.
PE has been a lot of fun, I guess... It's really just a routine of going there after first period, getting dressed, warming up and running around, and playing basketball, which I suck at. A lot. It doesn't really matter though, because being white is like a 30% penalty to basketball skills anyway. It's true!
My new programming period is a little more amusing than the old one, in the sense that there are some people I know in there. Not my favorite people, but people. Bryan Balouchi and Mitchel Davison are a few, and some guys in the back that play the Hellsing soundtrack a lot. Kinda cool, but the class itself continues to be very, very boring and trivial. I hate Visual BASIC.
Lunch goes on much as it has the past two months, I sit with Jenn, Bret and now Todd, whose schedule was changed. Lunch is really an oasis of stuff that actually happens in school. Is it just that classes start back up slowly that everything's boring, or what?
Chemistry is still really cool. While everyone else does calorimetry problems, I just copy the answers off the board and draw Todd as John Lennon for most of the period. He's got a guitar and the glasses and everything! It's awesome. Halley's still a really cool friend to have in there too. I cherish our walks to fifth period, where we make fun of Palisin's retarded "race for his girlfriend". He literally sprints across the campus to see her...
Choir's getting a little more intense as we begin learning the nine or ten songs we'll be singing in New York. Sectional seating sucks though. I have to sit between Palisin and the tenors, and there's not a worse place to sit. When did Adam turn into Uberfag anyway? His perverted sense of humor kinda gets on my nerves these days. Julia says he thinks I'm a queer or somesuch, as if I could care less. I'm obviously not gay, and he's the one obsessed with really bad jokes involving the male reproductive system. Ugh. "Look guys! My pen is wiggly! Get it?"
Geometry is pretty cool these days, as I've finally gotten a decent seating arrangement. I sit with Kara Collister, Sam Whatshisname, and some other girl who goes over and sits with other people anyway. Sam's this cool rebellious guy who tells us how much ROTC sucks every day, and how much he wants to get out of it, or kill the counselors in the process. Kara's funny cause she's really a pretty intelligent person, and tries hard to get good grades and stuff, but she seems all ditzy when she doesn't understand someone. Silly silly people...
I didn't mention what I did on Friday! Me, Jenn, Jeff and Rachel all went down to the Mormon dance! I dunno whether it's some annual thing or just some church activity, but I saw a lot of people I know, that are actually Mormons. Was very weird. Saw Adam there too, and he was all like "Hey, it's my best buddy from choir", and then we headed the other direction. In any case, the dance royally sucked. The DJ was this old guy who enjoyed playing really old Backstreet Boys and N'Sync songs, so it was nothing short of torture. In fact, it was. We left after about 45 minutes and just hung out at Jenn's house. Her couch > church's gymnasium.
Tomorrow is the long expected holiday. I love getting Mondays off, it takes the suckiness off of them and doesn't really even dump it on the Tuesdays. Anyway, me, Jenn and Rob are going to Julia's to hang out and "watch TV". I absolutely can't wait to see Jenn, especially after the boringness of today. And can't wait to give Julia her bday present! Hurrah for Target gifts! Rob better not be sick tomorrow though. Imagine the sadness!
Yesterday I was over at Jenn's house busy "fixing her computer". I really did get some work done, but we ended up on her couch watching Ever After. Such a sad movie! Her parents want me to network their computers once they get their new one, and I have to say, it's probably going to be pretty challenging. I've set up router/cable modem networks before, but I've never done anything with wireless technology, and I think I really have to do some research on the top hardware that's out there today. I am not drilling holes in their house to lay cable; it's just too much trouble.
So anyway, last week was a maelstrom of nothingness. Benchmark test in English, and two days of practically sitting around doing nothing made that class once again trivial. We'll start reading Julius Caesar on Tuesday. Exciting.
PE has been a lot of fun, I guess... It's really just a routine of going there after first period, getting dressed, warming up and running around, and playing basketball, which I suck at. A lot. It doesn't really matter though, because being white is like a 30% penalty to basketball skills anyway. It's true!
My new programming period is a little more amusing than the old one, in the sense that there are some people I know in there. Not my favorite people, but people. Bryan Balouchi and Mitchel Davison are a few, and some guys in the back that play the Hellsing soundtrack a lot. Kinda cool, but the class itself continues to be very, very boring and trivial. I hate Visual BASIC.
Lunch goes on much as it has the past two months, I sit with Jenn, Bret and now Todd, whose schedule was changed. Lunch is really an oasis of stuff that actually happens in school. Is it just that classes start back up slowly that everything's boring, or what?
Chemistry is still really cool. While everyone else does calorimetry problems, I just copy the answers off the board and draw Todd as John Lennon for most of the period. He's got a guitar and the glasses and everything! It's awesome. Halley's still a really cool friend to have in there too. I cherish our walks to fifth period, where we make fun of Palisin's retarded "race for his girlfriend". He literally sprints across the campus to see her...
Choir's getting a little more intense as we begin learning the nine or ten songs we'll be singing in New York. Sectional seating sucks though. I have to sit between Palisin and the tenors, and there's not a worse place to sit. When did Adam turn into Uberfag anyway? His perverted sense of humor kinda gets on my nerves these days. Julia says he thinks I'm a queer or somesuch, as if I could care less. I'm obviously not gay, and he's the one obsessed with really bad jokes involving the male reproductive system. Ugh. "Look guys! My pen is wiggly! Get it?"
Geometry is pretty cool these days, as I've finally gotten a decent seating arrangement. I sit with Kara Collister, Sam Whatshisname, and some other girl who goes over and sits with other people anyway. Sam's this cool rebellious guy who tells us how much ROTC sucks every day, and how much he wants to get out of it, or kill the counselors in the process. Kara's funny cause she's really a pretty intelligent person, and tries hard to get good grades and stuff, but she seems all ditzy when she doesn't understand someone. Silly silly people...
I didn't mention what I did on Friday! Me, Jenn, Jeff and Rachel all went down to the Mormon dance! I dunno whether it's some annual thing or just some church activity, but I saw a lot of people I know, that are actually Mormons. Was very weird. Saw Adam there too, and he was all like "Hey, it's my best buddy from choir", and then we headed the other direction. In any case, the dance royally sucked. The DJ was this old guy who enjoyed playing really old Backstreet Boys and N'Sync songs, so it was nothing short of torture. In fact, it was. We left after about 45 minutes and just hung out at Jenn's house. Her couch > church's gymnasium.
Tomorrow is the long expected holiday. I love getting Mondays off, it takes the suckiness off of them and doesn't really even dump it on the Tuesdays. Anyway, me, Jenn and Rob are going to Julia's to hang out and "watch TV". I absolutely can't wait to see Jenn, especially after the boringness of today. And can't wait to give Julia her bday present! Hurrah for Target gifts! Rob better not be sick tomorrow though. Imagine the sadness!
Sunday, January 12, 2003
Sunday. I've neglected the updates, but really, there hasn't been that much happening out of the ordinary. School goes on, boring as it is, and Jenn and I continue to be in love. We went to Rachel's party on Friday and I showed of my intensely, um, skillful basketball skills (they suck). Went shopping for no reason at all with Jenn on Saturday, for notebook paper... We tend to try and be together at every available oppurtunity.
Today was much more fun, we went to see Just Married, which is a hilarious movie. At the Willowbrook theatre no less, so the armrests didn't suck like the Loews ones! We ate lunch and had ice cream and went home, but Jenn didn't stay cheered up for too long. She's really stressed out right now with homework, and her car and its satanic standard shifting annoys her a lot, and she still thinks she's fat, despite anything I can tell her. Even if I did think she was fat, I wouldn't care. I love her from the bottom of my heart for the person she is, not for the person she wants to look like. She has such a great personality, and she's kind, and thoughtful, and crazy, and funny, and I think she knows that I think that. It just doesn't save her from being depressed sometimes. I'm a little worried about her, but I'm sure I can cheer her up tomorrow morning.
Today was much more fun, we went to see Just Married, which is a hilarious movie. At the Willowbrook theatre no less, so the armrests didn't suck like the Loews ones! We ate lunch and had ice cream and went home, but Jenn didn't stay cheered up for too long. She's really stressed out right now with homework, and her car and its satanic standard shifting annoys her a lot, and she still thinks she's fat, despite anything I can tell her. Even if I did think she was fat, I wouldn't care. I love her from the bottom of my heart for the person she is, not for the person she wants to look like. She has such a great personality, and she's kind, and thoughtful, and crazy, and funny, and I think she knows that I think that. It just doesn't save her from being depressed sometimes. I'm a little worried about her, but I'm sure I can cheer her up tomorrow morning.
Tuesday, January 07, 2003
Sunday, January 05, 2003
Back from Jenn's house, and as usual, I'm in my state of ecstasy. I actually kinda feel like singing right now, which is the only reason it'll be kinda nice to get back to school. I hate going back after Christmas holidays. It's so depressing... But I can't be depressed right now! Yay!
Then again, tomorrow I have a lot of work to do. Like, all day.
Then again, tomorrow I have a lot of work to do. Like, all day.
Well, I'm bored. Which means I should be able to write for quite a while tonight. The holiday after the new year turned upon us has been a lot of fun. Twice now have me and Julia been over at Rob's house, and once with Jenn. Jenn and I are still doing great, "going steady" now as my mom likes to make fun of me, and so I'm quite happy. A new couple has emerged in the midst of my friends, however, and an unlikely one at that! Rob and Julia. Yes, strange as I may find it, my tranquil Asian friend and my psycho-blender ninja of an EverQuest addict have fallen for each other. Just today they announced to me that they're going out. I never did see Rob as the romantic type, but the past two times Julia and I have been over to his house, they've been pretty flirtatious. Blanket provides a good deception, no?
In other news, I'm bored. My computer continues to be an arch-demon of terrible power, and it takes great delight in knowing I can't do anything other than update this blog and chat on AIM. I went down to Imagine Computers today and bought a new processor, which set me back about 58 bucks. Turns out my Compaq motherboard is too old and crappy for the speed I bought, so I'll also need a new one of those. There goes my money from Dennis' job. Anyway, once I get the parts, my computer will work, and all will be well at my house. Of course, all really is well, besides the fact that I'm bored. I haven't been home long enough to play any EQ anyway, considering how much I'm out of the house these days. *grin*
My past life is weird. I almost bored Julia and Jennifer to death today talking about our former relations with the Gillespies in our private chatroom. The Gillespies were a family of about 12 who lived here a year or so before moving to Maine. I hung out at their house quite a lot, mostly for lack of a better thing to do. Kieron's pretty stupid. He always forgot our names or had us run out to get network cables before remembering he had five spares in his desk drawer. Caitlin was his, well, interesting sister. She was a hardened and bitter Randalls employee who simply snapped one day while Rob and I were catching a ride home with her. Randalls was full of racist and sexist bastards, and they were quite mean to Cait. Evan was the cooler one of Kieron's brothers, the ominous and evil figure that he was. He sort of lived in this corner of the house I remember best, and was nicer to Rob and I than to Kieron himself. He enjoyed playing EQ and sleeping until 5 PM. Enough said.
I hope I've bored you out of your minds. I'm going to go try to sleep now...
In other news, I'm bored. My computer continues to be an arch-demon of terrible power, and it takes great delight in knowing I can't do anything other than update this blog and chat on AIM. I went down to Imagine Computers today and bought a new processor, which set me back about 58 bucks. Turns out my Compaq motherboard is too old and crappy for the speed I bought, so I'll also need a new one of those. There goes my money from Dennis' job. Anyway, once I get the parts, my computer will work, and all will be well at my house. Of course, all really is well, besides the fact that I'm bored. I haven't been home long enough to play any EQ anyway, considering how much I'm out of the house these days. *grin*
My past life is weird. I almost bored Julia and Jennifer to death today talking about our former relations with the Gillespies in our private chatroom. The Gillespies were a family of about 12 who lived here a year or so before moving to Maine. I hung out at their house quite a lot, mostly for lack of a better thing to do. Kieron's pretty stupid. He always forgot our names or had us run out to get network cables before remembering he had five spares in his desk drawer. Caitlin was his, well, interesting sister. She was a hardened and bitter Randalls employee who simply snapped one day while Rob and I were catching a ride home with her. Randalls was full of racist and sexist bastards, and they were quite mean to Cait. Evan was the cooler one of Kieron's brothers, the ominous and evil figure that he was. He sort of lived in this corner of the house I remember best, and was nicer to Rob and I than to Kieron himself. He enjoyed playing EQ and sleeping until 5 PM. Enough said.
I hope I've bored you out of your minds. I'm going to go try to sleep now...
Wednesday, January 01, 2003
Happy new year to all. And, if I don't summarize my year, it may not seem like a new year at all.
Freshman year was fun, I must admit. A cappella choir, while not being too good, was more fun than chorale, in my opinion. I knew everyone, unlike the unruly mob that is the 5th period I know today. I suppose the best experience relating to choir was the San Antonio trip. We ran around the mall, played video games, ate pizza, and pried out the wall outlet in our hotel room to make way for the nintendo. And of course, there was the quick relationship between Mary and I. It was fun, but short-lived, and I never think we were meant for each other. Still, I still hold some good memories from it.
The summer was really shitty. Not only was it a little too long and boring, but I had to take that class in summer school. Seven hours a day of sitting around watching movies was literally painful. I also evolved into a very antisocial person from the experience. Only one person I knew took classes in the summer; Mark Anderson. I shall say no more.
I was almost overjoyed to be back and school and with some friends, despite my slight dislike of chorale. The Gillespies had moved, and the group of friends that was once me, Kieron, Rob and Todd disintegrated into, well, me and Rob. Todd's cool, but most silent, and I only see him during chemistry. Did I mention he looks like John Lennon? Yeah. Anyway, being the obsessive romantic I tend to be, I developed a lot of little crushes on some girls, which I won't go into detail about. All you have to do is read the archives to see my pathetic little love life. I was generally pretty depressed and bitter towards the world, for what, I didn't know. I didn't trust other people (and don't get me wrong, I still don't), and now that I look back on it, I'm not even sure I trusted myself. My self-esteem was a little low, I guess. I kept up some decent grades though, and continued to sit around doing homework and napping at lunch. I think Mary tried to cheer me up during a few of those lunch periods; and even if she wasn't trying, I thank her. I was glad to still have some good friends, but I was a bit... I don't know. It was my cynical side taking over, I suppose. Being alone a lot was good for me though. In fact, the entire year I was on a little quest to discover who I was, because I never did, and sometimes still don't understand myself. I know now that I'm a little two-sided; the cynical romantic, was it? During the summer also I attempted to compile all my philosophies and atheist bitterness into something that defined myself.
Anyway, it all leads up to me meeting Jennifer, becoming a relatively cheerful person, and writing constantly about her in the twelfth of the year I've been with her. She is, without a doubt, someone that brings out the good side of me, and one of the few people who can. I love her more than anything, and really don't know what I'd do without her. One of the other people who can cheer me up is Julia. I have to thank her for being the coolest friend a guy could have. Enough said. The year is complete, and all my inner demons that I may have manifested during it are vanquished!
I am finally content with my life.
Freshman year was fun, I must admit. A cappella choir, while not being too good, was more fun than chorale, in my opinion. I knew everyone, unlike the unruly mob that is the 5th period I know today. I suppose the best experience relating to choir was the San Antonio trip. We ran around the mall, played video games, ate pizza, and pried out the wall outlet in our hotel room to make way for the nintendo. And of course, there was the quick relationship between Mary and I. It was fun, but short-lived, and I never think we were meant for each other. Still, I still hold some good memories from it.
The summer was really shitty. Not only was it a little too long and boring, but I had to take that class in summer school. Seven hours a day of sitting around watching movies was literally painful. I also evolved into a very antisocial person from the experience. Only one person I knew took classes in the summer; Mark Anderson. I shall say no more.
I was almost overjoyed to be back and school and with some friends, despite my slight dislike of chorale. The Gillespies had moved, and the group of friends that was once me, Kieron, Rob and Todd disintegrated into, well, me and Rob. Todd's cool, but most silent, and I only see him during chemistry. Did I mention he looks like John Lennon? Yeah. Anyway, being the obsessive romantic I tend to be, I developed a lot of little crushes on some girls, which I won't go into detail about. All you have to do is read the archives to see my pathetic little love life. I was generally pretty depressed and bitter towards the world, for what, I didn't know. I didn't trust other people (and don't get me wrong, I still don't), and now that I look back on it, I'm not even sure I trusted myself. My self-esteem was a little low, I guess. I kept up some decent grades though, and continued to sit around doing homework and napping at lunch. I think Mary tried to cheer me up during a few of those lunch periods; and even if she wasn't trying, I thank her. I was glad to still have some good friends, but I was a bit... I don't know. It was my cynical side taking over, I suppose. Being alone a lot was good for me though. In fact, the entire year I was on a little quest to discover who I was, because I never did, and sometimes still don't understand myself. I know now that I'm a little two-sided; the cynical romantic, was it? During the summer also I attempted to compile all my philosophies and atheist bitterness into something that defined myself.
Anyway, it all leads up to me meeting Jennifer, becoming a relatively cheerful person, and writing constantly about her in the twelfth of the year I've been with her. She is, without a doubt, someone that brings out the good side of me, and one of the few people who can. I love her more than anything, and really don't know what I'd do without her. One of the other people who can cheer me up is Julia. I have to thank her for being the coolest friend a guy could have. Enough said. The year is complete, and all my inner demons that I may have manifested during it are vanquished!
I am finally content with my life.
