Wednesday, January 02, 2008

brush with death

Hit by a car today. Pulled right out in front of me, no left turn signal, into a shopping center while I was cruising down Centre Ave, in the middle of the lane, in broad fuckin' daylight.

Some people just forget sometimes that they're driving a few thousand pounds of metal around. "I didn't even see you, the sun was in my eyes," she said. Well, maybe you ought to get some fucking sunglasses, and learn to use that set of brakes that costs as much as my entire vehicle. I AM TRAFFIC.

Anyway, I win on this one. I have several witnesses, the woman's phone number, and the police report puts her at fault for not yielding to me! Woohoo, legal upper hand!

Oh, and I am fine. Little scrape on the ankle, nasty-looking bruise on my chin. Alice is completely unscathed. I locked her up, got into the ambulance, then walked back to the crime scene two hours later to ride home. Here I am now at the Coffee Tree, with the leg up on a chair and a nice hot cuppa joe.

Anyway, you could totally die tomorrow. Get the number of that barista you like. Eat some truffles and foie gras. Shoot a gun, get drunk, have lots of sex. I could've been pushing daisies 1500 miles away from home today. That is, if I weren't such a tough motherfucker.

Ride hard, it keeps you warm.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Ok... We want pictures of the bruises - (with that new camera!)while they are nice and gruesome looking!

Anonymous said...

Hope you're wearing your helmet every day-your Mom only has one baby!