I'm No Fuqtard

Check out my Morality! 65% liberal, 35% conservative

You typically don't seek out new experiences.
You are well-organized, and are reliable.
You tend to shy away from social situations.
You are neither extremely forgiving nor irritable.
You probably remain calm, even in tense situations.


Who would've thought! Me, holding conservative views? I actually don't think this test is terribly inaccurate, despite it saying that I'm actually well-organized. It's true, I don't generally seek out new experiences--by myself. I love doing that kind of thing, but as long as I've got some people to back me up, because, as it says, I'm more introverted than extroverted.

I do hold some views that tend to be "conservative". I think that some views of the really, really far end of the left-wing crowd are just unrealistic, for example: you're not going to get rid of the military, instantly inject our somewhat intolerant culture with more social acceptance or environmental awareness, you're not going to end all wars, and it's probably impossible to stay isolationist in today's world, especially since we will probably never move away from fossil fuels until we just don't have them anymore. I think I might know a little bit about human nature, and it's a bit stupid to assume the entire nation will take on your perspective on an issue just because it's good for the world. People don't want to conserve resources because conserving resources is fucking expensive! I could buy a 40,000 dollar hybrid car, or I could buy a used traditional car and buy a hell of a lot of gasoline for what the car payments on the new thing would cost me, even if gas is two dollars a gallon. People don't want to part with their money, even if the government needs taxes! I mean, FUCK! It's money! People STEAL money! Why do you think Bush was elected in the first place? Tax cuts are damned nice, no matter what happens to the stupid government! I think anyone who doesn't realize that the entire country isn't necessarily bleeding their hearts out over those poor Iraqis is retarded. Look to thine own ass first. Duh.

I don't think it has anything to do with my political views that the test has called me a little conservative, however; it's just because I work with my hands a lot, I'm down to earth, and I spend a lot of time imagining the situations people are experiencing throughout the world these days. One man winning an election, or a new program, or set of laws, isn't going to change the world dramatically, because abstract legislation and concrete practice are two different things. If Kerry said he wanted gay marriage legal, he probably wouldn't be elected, so whether he believes in it or not, he chooses the more moderate side of civil unions to advocate. Bush may be an awful speaker and an idiot who confuses church with state, but he knows that since we got our sorry asses involved in the whole Iraq thing, we've got to stick with it until we can get our sorry asses out without abandoning the people over there who, despite whatever values they have that may seem atrocious to our little moral code, might like to live in a place where they don't have a 90% chance of being hit by a rocket-propelled grenade while buying milk at a fucking 7-11 (the problem I have with it is that none of it has much of anything to do with "homeland security", which is the primary justification for going to war, while a more secondary justification seems to be "liberation of the Iraqi people").

So, don't forget that I am not a closed-minded, antichrist Bush-basher who doesn't consider the statistics. I'm a realistic liberal guy who tries to look at a situation from a guy-who's-in-the-midst-of-it perspective, which is what we ought to be fucking doing, people, not playing with our dicks on Capitol Hill selling our souls for prestige and a good re-election campaign.