Man, that speech went splendidly. Taking the time off to prepare more thoroughly definitely payed off. I also brewed the best pot of coffee in the world using the knowledge I gained through my research.

For many years, I have been making bad coffee.

The simple fact of the matter is that, while I always insist on meticulously cleaning my equipment to rid it of old oils, storing my coffee in an airtight container away from light and heat, and never buying one of those pain-in-the-ass coffee machines, I just didn't use enough coffee to make coffee. It's 2.5 tablespoons to 8 ounces of water, man. More is fine, less is really bad. I always just "filled it up to that little line" in my grinder and dumped the talcum powder that 15 continuous seconds of pulverizing yielded into the filter--the result was always overextraction. After a certain point, all the oils were extracted from the grounds, and as I continued to pour boiling water over them, there was nothing left to flavor the water with except the more bitter elements present in the bean. Today when I used 14 tablespoons for 6 cups, ground my Gold Coast beans into the consistency of granulated sugar, and used not-quite-boiling water, I created the nectar of the gods; a full-bodied brew that had a bouquet like a seventy-dollar Cabernet Sauvignon. It was sweet without sugar, and smooth without cream, though it possessed a light acidity and subtle black currant overtones. It was not that bitter, pungent motor oil, desperate for dilution, that is consumed unhappily by millions every morning for power. It was pure, triple-distilled joy. After my speech, during which my classmates enjoyed some of my stuff from Dixie cups and a 1.5 quart carafe I found at Le Gourmet Chef, Alex told me he used to do a lot of coke, but that this shit was good.

Oh yeah, and the speech went well. People said I knew what I was talking about!