1) My uncle once: drove me to school in a loud truck.
2) Never in my life: will I not like pancakes.
3) When I was five: I thought I would be a comedian.
4) High School was: total bullshit but a lot of fun. It truly didn't end up making a damn bit of difference that I didn't get the best grades and didn't study for the SAT, which I got a Goddamn 1225 on anyway.
5) I will never forget: how to make rice pilaf. That recipe is etched into my eyelids.
6) I once met: Jesus Christ. I beat him at Mortal Kombat.
7) There's this person I know who: I just gave flowers to.
8) Once, at a bar: I dropped off the clean glasses.
9) By noon I'm usually: cleaning up Chef Panzera's kitchen, or in deep, deep REM sleep, depending on what day it is.
10) Last night: I was drinking coffee several miles away from my house in the snow.
11) If I only had: made out with that chick at region choir.
12) Next time I go to church/temple: I'm going to wear a Bad Religion t-shirt.
13) Terri Schiavo: was far too publicized to incite a legitimate debate on the issue of euthanasia. But Jesus, man, that woman was not alive.
14) I like: a girl.
15) When I turn my head left, I see: bottle of Alviero Martini cologne and some kind of apple torte that Sara gave me.
16) When I turn my head right, I see: computer case, blank wall.
17) You know I'm lying when: I say anything positive about Good Charlotte.
18) In grade school: I was never really motivated.
19) If I was a character written by Shakespeare, I'd be: Mercutio.
20) By this time next year: I'll be a hell of a cook.
21) A better name for me would be: Johptimus Prime
22) I have a hard time understanding: religious people.
23) If I ever go back to school I'll: study liberal arts.
24) You know I like you if: I say I like you.
25) If I won an award, the first person I'd thank would be: myself.
26) I hope that: my roommate pays me for the last three month of cable bills soon.
27) Take my advice: and get the hell out of the South.
28) My ideal breakfast is: cinnamon motherfucking toast crunch.
29) A song I love, but do not have is: Rainbow in the Dark.
30) If you visit my hometown, I suggest: visiting the Starbucks on Spring Cypress. Because my God, you will see the most beautiful woman in the world.
31) Tulips, character flaws, microchips, & track stars: are unrelated.
32) Why won't anyone: question the government's actions?
33) If you spend the night at my house: I will cook you a sexy meal.
34) I'd stop my wedding for: a lobster roll. Shit, I'd stop anything for a lobster roll.
35) The world could do without: God.
36) I'd rather lick the belly of a cockroach than: work with slow cooks.
37) My favorite blonde is: Jenn Rensel.
38) Paper clips are more useful than: onion roots.
40) And by the way: I drink black coffee. But sometimes, if I don't feel like doing that, I put heavy cream in it.
41) The last time I was drunk, I: got a nasty email from my liver and never drank again.
42) My grandmother always: makes pecan pie.
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