Man, stuff sure is going great. I think it has quite a lot to do with Hawaiian coffee in the morning, which I am very, very proficient at brewing. I take pride in the elitist art so very much that I actually parade around the school exclaiming that one must use only purified water, and grind the beans for 15 seconds; no more, no less. It is shameful and it is good.

I find that I like people quite a bit, contrary to popular belief. All they have to do is be mature about things. In fact, this year I am far, far friendlier in general. I think it's because I feel healthier and more awake in the unholy hours we are forced to give to Klein High School. There isn't any significant burden of academic work at all, so I can concentrate on the things I like to do, like singing, and actually acquiring some relatively useful knowledge in a few of my classes without unproductively practicing for a new version of the same test I've been taking since first fucking grade. I can just sort of enjoy things, and communicate with my fellow semi-humans. I do believe this is what confidence feels like...

So Sterling and I have almost distributed flyers throughout every street in Memorial Northwest. Our last day of agony for the time being is tomorrow, and then I can collect the modest paycheck which will most likely serve as an insole for my shoes. My feet are tired as they have never been before; I feel as though I have been trekking through the desert for weeks, except my feet have been falling on concrete and dry, rock-hard soil instead of sand. It always amazes me on these outdoor expeditions that I have the ability to drink literally gallons and gallons of water, but the necessity to relieve myself of any excess fluid is relinquished completely for periods of five hours or greater.

My bench has increased to 155. I am a weightlifting addict, though I refuse to down spoonfuls of horrifyingly concentrated protein supplements. Lots of people do it and say it's great, but I prefer to stick to my more natural curriculum. Besides that, I really don't think I want to look like the guy on the can of PROTEIN POWER SHIT 2000. I don't mind being all buff, but I prefer to keep as many of my veins and arteries well below my skin as possible, and you really don't need to see every individual muscle fiber through my shirt. The whole idea that I am pretty strong, especially compared to my virtually glorious days as Ianaman the Level 50 Cleric, is enough for me.

You know, I think the physical exertion--working out, doing the flyers, mowing lawns, and doing grunt work for neighbors--that I've done this summer and continue to do is a priceless thing. It's not even that important because of the money, but I truly believe that if you go into the real world after your childhood and teenage years without really knowing the feeling of struggle, even if it's something you voluntarily do, you're doomed. When you're panting and running around in your third hour trying to get stuff done, or barely getting that bar back onto the bench while feeling your muscles start to lock up, or just sweating and knowing you won't stop sweating for quite awhile, you really get a sense of what it is to be human. I don't know, maybe it's just masochistic, but I do it all to better myself physically and mentally.

While we're on ideals, a guy at district choir auditions (which I got seventh at, by the way) told me that it's good to raise kids with a religion because it teaches them a set of values, morals, etc. to become good people by. My opinion was (and is) that you should never "raise your kids Catholic" or "raise your kids Baptist" or some junk like that, but that you should just raise your kids. You tell a three year-old that there's a god, and there's no way he can deny it, but as he matures and begins to observe his surroundings more deeply all the time, he may begin to doubt that. So many are hurt because they begin to question their faith at about our age, and hate themselves for it because unfaithfulness/godlessness is such an ultimate sin.

So, that takes care of my gullability theory on the whole matter. What I'm really getting at is that you don't need to bring a kid up along a set of religious commandments just to teach him the difference between right and wrong, because to be honest, I consider that relatively close to brainwashing. I wasn't raised with any sort of religion--it was never really even mentioned in my household. My parents taught me what to do and what not do do because, well, that's how it was--they didn't teach me to be a complete asshole. I don't consider myself a morally unsound person, or even a morally loose person. I use my own sense of judgement in ethical decisions, and I think I do pretty well without trying to follow in the footsteps of Jesus. I looked at religion a lot as I aged and tried it, didn't believe, didn't think it was for me, etc, with no help from anyone else, which I am incredibly thankful for.