Vote for Larkin! She'll be the best damn homecoming queen ever!

I mean, EXPONENTIALLY better than some standleader bimbette.

Ha. Eight in my room for district.

Which was, this year, an interesting event. I've been doing this shit for so long that, in the midst of the simple cuts and the long wait before my actual audition, I sort of forgot it was the thing that would move me on to region auditions. I mean, district is so fucking easy to make. I just enjoyed sitting around with people, then moved where people told me, did what I've been doing after school for the past couple weeks, and left. Actually singing is only a minor part in the whole experience.

Highlights of the day:

1. Random people complimenting me on trenchcoat and silver nails
2. Playing soccer with a crushed water bottle
3. Being snuck up on by Mary and Julia while I stood singing Ave Maria alone
4. Being hit on by some random chick who wore a bandanna in her hair named Callie Somethingwhatever, who, despite the evil scheming of my table to smite her (and even a little Satanic provocation by myself), seemed like an allright person. Or rather, she seemed like a mindless drone, proclaiming to me after being shown my blasphemous doodlings her Christian faith. Who cares- it's the concept that matters to me. I don't ever get hit on by anonymous little choir members. The attention I get these days is really making me feel good about myself.

And besides that, I'm already taken by a wittier, doctrine-free goth chick who has much more interesting hair. Too bad for Callie.

5. Being smothered by hall monitors' hugs (FUCK THE FUCK OFF, FUCKERS). No, I'm not nervous. Yes, I'm in touch with my Chi- if it'll make you go away. I've done this district shit for what now, like, three fucking years? I'm trying to sleep, you spastic, caffeinated bitches! The only thing I like about you two is the money I could make selling videotapes of your ditzy, everyday actions!

So that went well. Mary brought me home in that car with the black leather seats and the standard shifting, and I tried to put the seat back and ended up reclining enough to easily look through the sun roof. Fun stuff.

After district, I wandered over to Mr.Morris looking for work, but he seemed preoccupied with putting in windows to his newly remodeled house, leaving me with no profits (but no exhaust-pipe burns, blisters, sore muscles, or total exhaustion either). Meh. It allowed me to clean myself up and spend some time with the creature that's allowed to come up without notice and run fingers through my head of silver-blue hair. We tromped around in the backwoods, poking slime molds and fending off mosquitoes. We went in search of new nail polish colors, and vegetables for a homemade pizza. We lay side by side until almost midnight, when that damned curfew whisked her gentle caress away from me. What a crime that is.

Shit. I really ought to be in bed, resting up for district auditions, which are tomorrow morning. I've got to be there by 8:00ish, and I'm riding with Sterling, which means I'll probably be there by noon.

But damn, am I in a good mood. District will be easy. I could walk in there with a harmonica and a triangle and get a higher rank than some of the people that try out. People tell me I've got a great voice. It really, really makes me happy to hear that. I rarely get compliments on my achievements. Thanks, Mary, and Julia. And Natalie Ball. Just don't let me get conceited. Let me save being a bastard for after I make Allstate.

And Larkin left me in a great mood tonight. Poor thing was positively drained of all energy, so after coming home from Once Upon a Time in Mexico, we took a nap, and I sent her home at 11:30. Such a comfy thing she is. Her company elates me more than hamachi with spicy mayonnaise and the most beautiful, shimmering saba put together. No matter what state she's in. She could be suicidal and on the brink of nervous breakdown, swaying around from exhaustion, hyperactive after a venti cup of Tazo Cocaine, or infuriated at the human race's incompetence and all doctrines considered to be good in this world, and I'd be right along side her, crying or grinning or worshipping Satan.

So yeah. The only thing Kleinforums is good for anymore is replying to stupid posts about ramen noodles.

"Yes- Ichiban is the best brand. However, I wouldn't recommend making a full diet out of the little packaged, pre-cooked bastards. They're tasty with some oregano, togarashi, chopped vegetables, an egg, and maybe some fish, but they've got enough sodium to make a man's circulatory system dissolve ceramic toilets. Go learn to read a cookbook, then go buy yourself some weirdass Asian stuff, muster up all your courage and sense of adventure, and throw it into a pot."

--Me

The Cadillac Escalade is the goddamn stupidest car EVER.

Another evening spent constrained to barren loneliness in my room, yet filled with an unequivocable contentment. She turns my blood to sweet rice wine. It pulsates through me, dissolving my fear, doubt, and angst, and replaces it with an indefatigable confidence and love for life.

I listen to Seven Nation Army, and all those memories of the summer I spent with Larkin lash themselves to my brain. What times we've had! I can't believe I've been in love with such a wonderful creature for six months. I have nothing else to say. It doesn't get much better than this. Only when Mrs.Durio dies will it be a utopia.

The vile monotony of school snags the wrinkles in my brain with its dull talons. Like an expensive rug in a small food processor, the well-lit hallways slowly unravel what reasonable thoughts (and mathematics skills) I have, and burn them in an industrial incinerator for fuel. The spidery Mr.Turks' voice pounds through my ears hours and hours after I leave his prescence. A speech from Mr.Raddin, repeated for the fourth time this day, bounces around inside my ribcage and makes my legs weary of sitting risers. Mrs.Durio's ultimately pointless lectures corrode the ivory walls of logic in my mind, making them dank, algae-infested concrete prisons. Mrs.Jenkins asks me what we're trying to find for a system of equations over and over. I open my mouth, and a shriek longs to take the oppurtunity and escape.

Finally, at district rehearsal, despair turns into hysteria. I draw little stick figures with pointy Chinese hats on them, lunging at each dotted quarter note in Frolocket ihr Völker auf Erder with great pointy teeth and maniacal grins. I eat part of page eleven. My soft, witty psycho-altering drug is absent, thus being unavailable to maintain my stability. The choir room goes black, and fades into a frozen frame like a detective story drawn in ink by Bill Waterson. This is the distilled form of what madness is for me.

Which, I suppose, isn't half bad compared to what some poor saps go through.

Ah, I don't update enough anymore. But here's what things are looking like these days:

English: Nice class, people in it aren't mentally retarded, but all the literature we're reading is this Puritan go-to-hell-for-eating-my-sandwich crap. Religion is so silly...

History: Sucks. I'm doing allright in it, of course, but Mr.Turks still sucks. The only thing he seems to like doing is discussing things, and he's not going to find much intelligent debate amidst that KleinForumsy crowd. I mention the GSA issue from last year and the entire class is all like OMG HHAAHAHA FAG CLUB

Physics: AUGAHGHAGH. I'm failing. 61. Though I got a 78 on yesterday's quiz, I don't think it's going to be worth 9 points on my average. And there's a test tomorrow. My mother wants me to consider dropping out of honors, but how that would SUCK! No one to share the work of the class with, and next semester, I won't be in the class with Larky! I must, fucking must pass that class this year. Every six weeks. If I don't, my faith in myself will be utterly DESTROYED, and I will declare myself a fowl, unintelligent artichoke.

German: Herr Kidd is awesome. Deutschclub's first outing was a few days ago, to Mountasia. Had some fun there jumping on all the rocks and saying DER BLEISTIFT a lot. Ah, der bleistift. Wo ist du?

Choir: I'm never patriotic. Ever. I don't stand up and say the pledge of allegiance or bother observing our moment of silence during this "Patriot Day" that's been declared due to 9-11. In fact, until 5th period yesterday, I didn't know today was 9-11. So call me an incompassionate bastard. I call the whole thing a ridiculous human clusterfuck anyway. And now we want to keep troops over there for another six months. I betcha we've killed a lot more of them than they have us. Sickening. It's just a mindless ping pong game of vengeance- except the ping pong ball is travelling at several hundred miles per hour, and is made of lead.

But back to choir. I'm no person to get into singing the Star Spangled Banner, but I'll do a good job of it chorally if that's what's required of me. I mean, I do go in there every day and praise god through those hymns. So it hasn't put me in the best of singing spirits. Neither has district rehearsal and its Aaron Copland crap. There are no blessings of harvest. Maybe grain, and, like, a sandwich. I'd eat a sandwich if I harvested several fields of corn.

But chamber choir kicks ASS. I wish it were more than one day a week. Such fun! The basses don't suck so badly! Not even the tenors suck! It's a good thing to look forward to on a Monday.

And finally, in Algebra: Mrs.Jenkins is kinda funny. She treats all her students as complete fuqtards. And I don't blame her. The first six weeks seems to be a review of 8th grade pre-algebra, and some people are failing.

So all is relatively well. Ah, but my time with Larkin is so restricted these days, by school, choir, the need for sleep, and other committments that I'm, well, committed to. Didn't get to see her much at all today, so I long to be touched- a hand on my cheek, a hug, hell, a glass shattered on my head! As long as it's done by her! She gets me through all this. I think that, without her, I'd be failing even Algebra right now. There's just no motivation if I have no one to look forward to getting the fuck out of that cinder-block deathcamp for.

I guess I'm doing allright regarding my grades. Physics is the only thing I'm worried about, really. If I don't pass, I know I'll be ineligable for something really really fun in choir. That's never happened to me. And it's my junior year. I really need to do well. The future will start looming in my face too- just today, I was considering who I can get to nominate me for scholarships and colleges and awards and all that. I think the only teacher who knows me is Mr.Raddin. Maybe, in a pinch, I'd go to Mrs.Schnell. I just don't make friends with my teachers unless they're cool, and that's a rare thing when you've completed two years of high school in almost all regulars classes.

Have you ever stared at your monitor while touch typing long enough that your vision sort of zoomed out and made the monitor seem really small?

I think I need to go to bed.

A long, long time ago, I can still remember how that music used to make me smile...

Hmm. The Scarlet letter is crappy-ass-bullshit. There is no better way to put it. Maybe if I had an appreciation for extremely depressing literature that bases itself on a way of life that restricts anything which makes you feel good, I'd love it. Fuck religion and its sins. I think Hester and the town need to get over the whole damn thing. Or she needs to move. Creeping Christ, those Puritans were stupid.

And Hawthorne needs to read this.

Quack. I am an asparagus.

So yeah, it's been awhile. Fuck you. I've been busy!

I'm relatively happy with my classes. Relatively. AP English continues to be awesome, as does German and Choir, but History, Physics, and Algebra still suck. And I'm not doing well with physics.

Though thanks to Larkin's help, I'm confident I can pass. Everything besides physics isn't hard- just an inconvenience with homework, such as the paper I have to write for History describing prejudice, my "views" on it, and if I've ever seen any at Klein. Heh. I must restrain myself on this one...

These past few weeks haven't been too bad at all. Slipping in little slots of time spent with Larkin in between my work and all has made everything more than tolerable. We've been going out for sushi a lot. Just tonight, she took me out to Olive Garden. Nice place, that.

My life is beautiful. And I'm really tired.

Oh, and I made chamber choir, because, well, I'm awesome.

Trenchcoat.